I Came, I Saw, I Trampled

First things first - Dad, if you're reading this, for goodness' sake, don't tell Mum. My Mum's first reaction if she hears a prisoner has escaped from jail in Timbuktu is to tell my Dad to lock all the doors, so this story would make her freak out. So, after yesterday's Snakes On A Bus episode I thought today might be a tad more peaceful. (When I told people about this episode, by the way, the reaction of all the females was a variation on the theme of "Ewwwwwwwww"; the reaction of more than one of the males was "What type of snake?" I had to confess that I did not ask it for its family tree.)

But I digress. This morning, hoping for slightly less wildlife in my day, I went to catch my bus, only to discover that the bus shelter was already full. With about 6 police, and a bloke and a woman both looking slightly the worse for wear. So, rather than interrupt this cosy little chat, I stood next to the bus stop, waiting for my bus, while wondering what this guy had done. Maybe he'd dropped some litter? Daubed some badly spelled slogans on a wall? Been drunk in charge of a bus shelter?

Just before my bus arrived, one of the policemen came around the side of the bus shelter, looked at me funny, and bent over to pick something up. I looked down. There, 2 inches away from my feet was a saw (Girls - I know! Ewwwwwwwwwwww. Lads - it was a crosscut handsaw with a steel blade - happy now?) Apparently the guy had tried to cut his girlfriend's head off with the saw while she was sleeping. Luckily, she had woken up before he could get very far, realised that he wasn't holding the saw in order to put up a couple of shelves and had run out of the house, with him chasing her, still wielding the saw. Obviously sensing that this was not your normal DIY episode, a passer-by had called the police, who arrived mob-handed in double quick time, complete with riot gear. Enter your humble narrator to trample all over the evidence.

Anyway, I apologise for all the personal asides in recent posts. I will try to refrain in future but, really, you couldn't make this stuff up.

And now back to Scottish crime fiction.

Karen Campbell has signed a new two book deal with Hodder and Stoughton. This is news I'm very glad to hear as I'm currently reading, and loving, her first book THE TWILIGHT TIME - a police procedural with humour, warmth, and a fair bit of darkness.

An article about football from Christopher Brookmyre, whose latest novel Pandemonium will be launched at the Mitchell Library in Glasgow on Friday August 14th.

Alexander McCall Smith says hands off Scotland's haggis.

Gordon Brown the author, as opposed to the other one.

A review of Denise Mina's STILL MIDNIGHT.