H Is For...

Only two Hs, so a couple of Is too...

Helen FitzGerald - Helen FitzGerald is an Australian living in Glasgow. She has worked as a social worker and a parole officer and has brought her experiences in those fields to her books. Her first novel DEAD LOVELY came out in 2007. I absolutely loved it. It's described as chick lit noir but it's definitely not your normal type of chicklit. Dark, disturbing and demented - in the best way possible. She has two books published in 2009 - MY LAST CONFESSION, which continues the story of the protagonist of DEAD LOVELY, Krissie, and THE DEVIL'S STAIRCASE which is about an Australian teenager who ends up in a squat in London.
"Fitzgerald has written something startling, menacing and original. She shows the savagery under our civilised demeanours, which at any moment can come bursting through with dire, far-reaching consequences." - Literary Review

Hugh C Rae - Hugh Crawford Rae also writes as Robert Crawford, R. B. Houston, James Albany, Stuart Stern and romantic novels as Jessica Sterling. He wrote a series of SAS novels in the 1980s and has written over 20 other novels between the 60s and the 80s. His novels under the Crawford name he describes as "lightweight guns'n'gals thrillers", and he has written novels in different genres. His novel THE SHROUD SOCIETY was made into the film MAN WITH A GUN with Michael Madsen and Jennifer Tilly.

Iain Banks - writes science fiction under the name Iain M Banks and other (very varied) fiction under Iain Banks. Has written 12 books as Iain Banks with a 13th - TRANSITION - to be published in 2009. THE CROW ROAD has one of the best openings ever: "It was the day my grandmother exploded. I sat in the crematorium, listening to my Uncle Hamish quietly snoring in harmony to Bach's Mass in B Minor, and I reflected that it always seemed to be death that drew me back to Gallanach."
"Riveting ... exhilarating ... its pace, development, intensity and, above all, its hip and sexy humour never allow it to flag. With The Crow Road, Banks reinforces his credentials as one of the most able, energetic and stimulating writers we have in the UK." - Time Out
Iain Levison - Iain Levison was born in Scotland but now lives in the US. He writes both fiction and non fiction. His novel DOG EAT DOG features Phil Dixon, a bank robber who escapes from a bank heist with a pile of cash and a bullet wound. With the FBI on his tail he needs to hole up somewhere to recover and, luckily, comes across a sleazy history professor having sex with his 15 year old neighbour. Time for a spot of blackmail. Great dilaogue, cynical humour and people of dubious morals. Lovely. His next novel, HOW TO ROB AN ARMOURED CAR, is due out in October.
"Levison is the real deal . . . bracing, hilarious, and dead on." - The New York Times Book Review

What I Read In June

BEAST OF BURDEN - Ray Banks
Published: 2009
Setting: Manchester, UK
Protagonist: Cal Innes
Series?: 4th
First Lines: "Declan was a suicide risk. That's what the dumpy nurse told me, her specialist subject the totally fucking obvious."

Cal Innes - ex-con and unlicensed private eye - is hired by local gangster Maurice Tiernan to find his son Mo. There are a couple of things which should make Cal keen to decline the case. Firstly, Cal has never come out well following an encounter with the Tiernans - particularly his old enemy Mo. Secondly, Cal can't even walk or talk properly following a stroke. But Cal always seems to take the path of most resistance. The book is told alternately by the very distinctive voices of Cal - a good man who makes bad mistakes - and the unpleasant and corrupt Detective Sergeant Donkin, who doesn't have a good bone in his body. Each book in the Cal Innes series can be read on its own but it's a hugely powerful series when read in order, with a distinct story arc that is realistic, believable and shocking. Ray Banks is an excellent writer. I was still thinking about this book well after I finished it. Stark, inexorable and compelling. Noir at its best.

KNOCKEMSTIFF - Donald Ray Pollock
Published: 2008
Setting: Knockemstiff, Ohio, 1960s-1990s
Protagonist: Various inhabitants
Series?: Standalone
First Lines: "My father showed me how to hurt a man one August night at the Torch Drive-in when I was seven years old. It was the only thing he was ever any good at."

Short stories set in the small town of Knockemstiff over a period of decades, which tell the sordid and secretive (and sometimes not so secretive) happenings in the town. Not classed as crime fiction but with its tales of murder, incest, drug-dealing, abuse, violence, rape and theft I think it qualifies! These stories are amazingly atmospheric and evocative. Great writing, wonderful imagery and descriptions, lots of dark humour and full of damaged characters with brutal and depressing lives. You know when you get that excited feeling when you discover a new to you author whose writing just hits you in the gut? My god but this is one of those moments. How about this for a beginning: "We drove down to Parkersburg to cop some more 'roids - fifty ccs of Mexican Deca for 425 American dollars - and I fixed up my son, Sammy, right there is the parking lot of Gold's, one cc in the hip. Deca is thick as molasses, tough shit to inject, but it won't bloat you up like a fucking Amish ham either. He started whimpering like a little girl even before I found the sweet spot." Or this: "When people in town said inbred, what they really meant was lonely." If you're a fan of Daniel Woodrell you should definitely rush out and buy this book.


DEAD LOVELY - Helen Fitzgerald
Published: 2007
Setting: Glasgow and West Highland Way
Protagonist: Krissie Donald
Series?: 1st
First Lines: "Some people find themselves all at once, like an explosion. Backpacking in the Himalayas maybe, or tripping on acid. Some people study the art of finding themselves, and graduate - or not - after years of diligence. I found myself, bit by bit, through a series of accidents really. The first bit I found was in a tent on the West Highland Way. My best friend Sarah was asleep. Her husband was lying beside her, and I was swallowing his semen."

Krissie and Sarah have been best friends since childhood. Krissie sleeps with anything that moves, and a drug fuelled encounter in a nighclub toilet in Tenerife leads to an unwanted pregnancy. Sarah, on the other hand, has been trying to get pregnant for ages and her marriage to Kyle is suffering because of it. Krissie now has post-natal depression and Sarah's obsession for a child is becoming uncontrollable, so Krissie, Sarah and Kyle decide to go on a nice little camping holiday on the West Highland Way to try to take their minds off their troubles and to reclaim some of their carefree youth. Needless to say, with two exceedingly hormonal females on board, things don't quite work out as planned. Gory, gruesome, touching, thrilling, heart-stopping...and often very, very funny. There's an absurdity about it which doesn't take away from the realism and believability.

RAGE - Sergio Bizzio
Published: 2004 (English translation 2009)
Setting: Buenos Aires
Protagonist: Jose Maria
Series?: Standalone
First Lines: "When you were born I was just coming..."

Jose Maria is a construction worker who falls in love with Rosa, a maid working in a big house in Buenos Aires. When he has a row with his boss and is sacked from his job, and his boss is subsequently murdered, Jose Maria goes on the run. But he doesn't run far - just to the attic of the mansion where Rosa is the maid. And there he stays, for years, unnoticed by everyone in the house, including Rosa. I suppose this could be classed as an erotic thriller. It's tense and disturbing, bleak and claustrophobic.

Spies, Lies and Private Eyes

Tom Morton's response to a reviewer who doubts that Inverness is throbbing with secret agents.

Vince Keenan's excellent review of Ray Banks' NO MORE HEROES. And all I can say is - Vince, don't wait a moment longer - read BEAST OF BURDEN. I've just finished it and it's amazing - powerful, compelling and heart-stopping.

Craig Russell is in Edinburgh at Blackwell on 9th July at 6.30pm to talk about his new series set in 1953 Glasgow, and featuring a shady private investigator.

Denise Mina to appear at the Toronto 30th annual International Festival of Authors.

Edinburgh Napier University's new MA in Creative Writing, which allows students to specialise in crime fiction.

Stirling's Off The Page book festival in September features Ian Rankin and Karen Campbell.

And finally, Ian Rankin, Alkexander McCall Smith and others on their desert island discs. So, what would your eight songs, one book, and one luxury be? Here are mine:

Iggy Pop - The Passenger
The Clash - Gates Of The West
The Cramps - I Ain't Nuthin' But A Gorehound
Aerial Love Feed/Rockethouse - Warning Climb
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Spread Your Love
Violent Femmes - Gone Daddy Gone
Raveonettes - Heartbreak Stroll
Ramones - Blitzkrieg Bop

That was tough - I had to miss off Tom Waits, The Flaming Stars, The Killers...

Book - even tougher, but I would plump for The Collected Works of Raymond Chandler.

Luxury - a dinghy carrying 1000 books so that once I've finished reading them I can sail back to civilisation.

Catching Up From My Sick Bed

Well, I officially have tonsilitis. My doctor phoned in a prescription to the chemists and when I went to collect it I walked in and the pharmacist was standing at the counter. "Phoned in prescription for Moore?" he said. "How did you know?" "Because you look like crap." Cheers pal - way to make a girl feel good.

Anyway...onto things criminally Scottish.

More non news on Trainspotting sequel or not, as the case may be. And, in other film news here's a trailer from the new Sherlock Holmes movie with Robert Downey Jr. And, apparently, the comedy version starring Sacha Baron-Cohen and Will Ferrell is on hold as they didn't want to go up against the Guy Ritchie pic.

Alexander McCall Smith's Precious Ramotswe to write a cookbook to raise funds for worthwhile causes in Botswana.

Interesting blog post from Aly Monroe on Edgar Allen Poe and word choice.

Paul Johnston on living and writing in Greece.

Talk of establishing a new literary quarter in Edinburgh, and the marketing of the city as a Unesco City of Literature.

An interview with author Grant McKenzie about his debut novel SWITCH, due out in the UK on July 2nd.

More about the Oxfam books I mentioned in an earlier post.

News of the Inverness Book Festival and attending crime writers Ian Rankin, Alex Grey and Stuart MacBride.

Thoughts From A Broad - Part One

Well, here's the self-indulgent 'here are my holiday snaps' post so feel free to scroll on by. Click on any picture to enlarge it (with appropriate warnings that I may look horrible small, but I look even worse big).

First of all we spent 5 days in New York. Our hotel was Hotel 57 on East 57th Street and I would definitely recommend it. The room was tiny but gorgeous and had a great view. I didn't take a photo of the inside of the room because by the time we had been there 5 minutes it looked as thought Hurricane Donna had swept through it (why is it that when you go on holiday you take clothes you haven't worn for years? Or is that just me? It's as though I have something in my brain that says "Donna, those lime green crimplene hotpants your mum made that you've been saving since the early '70s will be just perfect for this trip. OK, so they were never actually in fashion and you need to lose a little weight before you get into them - but what's 150 pounds between friends?") Luckily, Ewan only had half a suitcase full of clothes so I took over the other half of his. We still had too much luggage so I unpacked his suitcase before we left, decided there were some clothes he didn't need and threw in some extra shoes for me.

The first full day we walked over the whole of lower Manhattan. We wandered through the East Village (where we found this Joe Strummer mural). The East Village was a great area to just walk around and soak up the sights and sounds and smells (although on that note, may I heartily UNrecommend the public restrooms in Tompkins Square Park in Alphabet City.)

Then it was on to the Lower East Side, the West Village and Greenwich Village, taking in Chinatown and Little Italy, via a detour to Joey Ramone Place at the corner of East 2nd Street and the Bowery, just around the corner from what used to be CBGBs. Sorry about the photo - it was humid. My hair doesn't do humid. And nor does my face, apparently. And I didn't have time to make myself look decent because while we were taking photos here there was a major drug deal going on behind us. Discretion being the better part of valour, we thought it best not to linger. We returned to the East Village and the Bowery on numerous occasions - it was a great place and the location of our two musical interludes with the lovely Mary Reagan - Spinnerette at the Bowery Ballroom and The Crocodiles at the Mercury Lounge (a tiny club that only held about 250 people). The Crocodiles were one of the best bands I've ever seen - full of energy and passion, great songs and some brilliant Jesus and Mary Chain guitar fuzz noise. I bought a CD and later found they are playing in Glasgow in July - yippee!.


We did the whole tourist thing, spending approximately 2 minutes in Times Square before heading off to the peace and quiet of Central Park which was absolutely gorgeous. I managed to shoo several 5 year olds off the Alice In Wonderland statues so that I could get my photo taken like the big kid I am. We ate in Harlem (great to see you Mary, Sarah and Ed!), and met up with old friends (Kathy - it was a joy) and new ones - the charming Nick Towasser of Dissident Books met us for drinks after we had been to a comedy club on the Upper East Side and we spent a lovely evening with him drinking until the small hours. And if you get a chance to get hold of DON'T CALL ME A CROOK!: A SCOTSMAN'S TALE OF WORLD TRAVEL, WHISKY AND CRIME jump at it - it's a great fun read.

"But Donna, what about culture?" I hear you ask. "What of Broadway, and museums and art?" Well, we did that too. In fact, we went from the ridiculous to the sublime. On a rainy afternoon we decided to go to an off Broadway production. On the positive side, we got tickets for half price. On the negative side, it was utter shite. The play was The Perfect Crime, a long-running play which was supposedly a psychological thriller. Unfortunately there was far too much scenery chewing from the female lead, the male lead had the worst British accent imaginable (stopping just short of 'top hole, old boy, what?') and not enough thrills. Oh, there was one more good thing about the production - it had an interval, which meant we could mercifully leave at half time without looking too obvious).

So we decided to go to a museum instead, to try and recapture some of that elusive culture. And the museum we chose was the Museum of Sex which was fascinating, informative and extremely funny (apparently there are sex doll brothels). One of the exhibits was 'The Sex Lives of Animals' and I was really taken by the fact that macaque monkeys will give up snacks for porn. They will gladly hand over their food in exchange for pictures of female macaque genitalia. Well, let's face it guys, when you've got that naked, hot macaque centrefold in front of you, you're going to need both hands, aren't you?

San Francisco to follow.

Back In The Land of The Blogging...Almost

Well, I'm back from a wonderful holiday in New York and San Francisco with thousands of great memories, 760 photos, 9 new pairs of shoes, 207 mosquito bites and 1 case of tonsilitis. I will share some of those in due course (mostly the memories and the photos, but anyone who wishes can have the mosquito bites and the tonsilitis - I'll be glad to be rid of both. The shoes - no chance of me sharing). But here are a few brief catchy uppy linky things before I head back off to bed.

Russel McLean alerts me to a new author name for my list - Chris Longmuir, whose debut novel DEAD WOOD recently won the Dundee Book Prize.

Harrogate Crime Festival asks readers to condense crime novels by various authors (including Allan Guthrie, Val McDermid and Arthur Conan Doyle into 50 words for the chance of winning a great prize.

A thought provoking interview with Helen Fitzgerald on her work with sex offenders.

Writers such as Ian Rankin and Iain Banks will be reading from the works of imprisoned writers as part of Amnesty International's Imprisoned Writers Series at the Edinburg Book Festival.

Val McDermid recommends some hot summer reads.

A-Z Killing Spree - Verses X to Z

X is for Xavier, an X-ray astronomer
Who could do marvellous things with a mercury thermometer
I cannot divulge because most were X-rated
But I'll tell you they left his girlfriend Xena elated.
So when with a Xylophonist from Xiangstan she found him in bed
She gassed them with Xenon and left them for dead.

Y is for Yves, a Yachtsman no less
Who when Yvonne said 'no' thought she really meant 'yes'
The Yobbish Yahoo tried it on with Yvonne
So she kicked him overboard; he Yelled, and was gone.

Z is for Zebediah a Zoot-suited Zoologist
Who began to court Zesty Zara, an animal psychologist.
When he told her the Zebra was a Zodiacal sign
She realised that Zeb was out of his mind,
That he was a Zero, a nothing, a phony,
So she sneaked some Zinc Sulphate into his Zabaglione.

The End - and aren't you glad?