E is for Eric, an Embezzler from Ealing
Who stole an Enormous Emerald from the Earl of Darjeeling
The Earl (who of the police had no Expectation)
Embalmed poor Eric following Evisceration.
F is for Frederick, next in this Fable
Who routinely drank his Friends under the table.
He Fetched up in France, on a Farm Filled with vines
Where his Felonious Flaw of Filching Fine wines
Made the Farmer Fed up of light Fingered Fred,
So Full of Fury he took a Flagon to Fred's head,
And beat him quite senseless, and with Frenzy demented
Left him Face down in a vat where poor Fred Fermented.
(PS - a wine taster Found bottled Fred "Quite shoddy
A Feeble vintage - no Flavour, no body.")
G is for George, whose fate was so Gory
That I hesitate to include poor George in this story.
For his habit of flashing - so Gross and obscene
He had an appointment with Madame Guillotine.
And, without being Gruesome, he ended up dead
But what was chopped off - well, it wasn't his head.
For George's Ghastly crime of Grim saturnalia,
Poor George went to hell - without Genitalia.
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