Queen of Pain

The Cramps again, of course.

I am now down at my parents to be spoiled over Christmas and it reminded me of a trip a few years ago. It's not just buses, you see. Public Transport and I have one of those love/hate relationships. I hate it, and it loves making my life a misery. Whenever I step on a train, or a plane, or a bus, or into a taxi, I take a deep breath and pray to everyone I can think of that I'm going to be sane at the end of the journey.

A couple of years ago I spent Christmas, as usual, in the soft and comfortable bosom of my family near Peterborough. After a wonderful time, we set off home. Now, I should state here that on Christmas Day I got the flu and I was feeling pretty ill. So I wasn't really looking forward to travelling anyway, but it was made all the worse by the fact that British Rail, in their infinite wisdom, had ripped up the railway tracks between York and Darlington, at the busiest time of year, so part of our train journey was done by bus.

Our seats were booked for the first part of the journey in Coach F. When the train arrived at Peterborough, we walked along past all the carriages - A, B, C, D, E, G, H. No F. So we walked back, just in case a tipsy carriage assembler had put coach F somewhere else. Still no Effing F. I spied a guard, a way up the platform, so, battling through the thronging hordes, and slamming myself into a pillar in the process (I didn't get transported to Platform 9 3/4 so I guess I won't be off to Hogwarts this term), I ascertained that Coach F was now Coach C through the miracles of Alphabet Soup so we managed to get a seat just before the train left.

At York, we all trooped out of the train, through a muddy bog that the station staff euphemistically referred to as 'car park' and onto buses. By this point we were already running 15 minutes late. Not to worry, said the guard on the train, the train would be waiting for us at Darlington. Absolutely. It definitely wouldn't be going anywhere until we arrived, we had his assurances on that.

So we all piled onto the bus. The bus was one of those posh ones, where you go down a little flight of stairs to the loo. Good, since by this time I was desperate to go to the loo. I walked up the bus and descended the stairs, only to hear the booming voice of the driver over the bus's tannoy "Could someone tell that woman that the toilet isn't working". About 17 people called down the stairs "Oy, you, the woman with the red face, the toilet isn't working."

We arrived at Darlington 40 minutes late to catch our connecting train (you remember, the one that on no account, absolutely definitely posilutely would not have left without us?), only to find that it had left without us, and the next one wasn't for another hour or so. Since we'd missed the train we had seats booked for, we didn't have seats booked for this one but there would be a whole load of people who would have had seats reserved. You could tell who they were - amongst the hordes of people on the platform they were the ones with really smug looks, the 4 bus loads of people who'd all arrived too late for our train just looked increasingly desperate, and were eyeing up those less fit than themselves, to determine their best chances of elbowing people out of the way to get a seat. By this time, I felt really, really awful, and promised the train guard (a different one from the lying sadist at York station) that I would vomit all over his shoes if he couldn't promise me a seat. He leaned over and whispered "I'll give you a tip since you're not well - Coach C has all the unbooked seats on it."

"My saviour. Thank you, thank you." I kissed his hands, sobbed into his British Rail jacket and promised him my uneaten British Rail sandwich (uneaten for very good reason I might add).

The train arrived. We sped down the platform past coaches H, G, F, E, D, B, A... D, B, A???? Had anyone reported this wholesale theft of railway carriages? Was someone, somewhere, setting up home in two cozy GNER carriages called F and C on a disused stretch of line somewhere between York and Darlington?

So, we grabbed seats in Coach D. I'm afraid I may have made rather a fool of myself as I clung to it sobbing "You'll never get me off this seat, never. Just leave me to die here. I've never harmed anyone." Anyway, it seemed to do the trick, no-one asked me to move for the whole journey. Not even the nice man in the white coat carrying the large butterfly net who hovered by my seat for the rest of the journey.

Now, enough of the nonsense. Scottish crime fiction news coming up.

Luca Veste over at Guilty Conscience talks about his top 5 books of 2011. Not only does he include Ray Banks' DEAD MONEY and Helen Fitzgerald's THE DONOR, but his number 1 is also one of my own favourite books of the year - the amazing BLACK FLOWERS by Steve Mosby. Luca obviously has excellent taste, I shall have to read the other two in his top 5 - Nick Quantrill's BROKEN DREAMS, and Neil White's COLD KILL.

More Ray, as The All Purpose Monkey muses over DEAD MONEY. And Ed Kurtz - another man with exceedingly good taste - picks it as one of his top books of 2011.

Doug Johnstone's busy year.

Conan Doyle's Moriarty on the big screen. And a review of A GAME OF SHADOWS.

Metaliterature reviews Philip Kerr's THE ONE FROM THE OTHER, Savidge Reads reviews M C Beaton's AGATHA RAISIN AND THE LOVE FROM HELL, and Crime Fiction Lover reviews Alex Gray's SLEEP LIKE THE DEAD.

Ian Rankin talks about which literary character he'd like to sleep with and other topics.

More on the Denise Mina comic book adaptation of the Stieg Larsson books. And more on the Unbound 26 Treasures project which Alexander McCall Smith is part of.

Irvine Welsh to write Britpop musical.

The Scotsman talks about their books of the year and note that Denise Mina and Ian Rankin show the "range of what the crime genre can do".

Post-Harrogate Post

Well, Harrogate Crime Festival was excellent. Not that I went to any events, so I can't comment on those, but it was so brilliant to catch up with old friends and to make new ones who you feel as though you've known forever. I'm not going to list everyone, because that would just be ridiculous, but you know who you are because I probably hugged you several times (or, if I didn't know you very well, I probably shook your hand whilst wishing I knew you well enough to hug you). Some brief highlights:

Getting to spend time with the gorgeous Christa Faust after missing out on an LA trip last year due to pneumonia. (Photo courtesy of Adele (who, at one point during the weekend, told me I wasn't scary after all. Am I scary, dear Reader?))

Lovely agent Allan Guthrie calling the screenplay I just sent him 'a humdinger' (he never usually says anything nice to me...)

Getting to meet Steve Mosby's gorgeous little baby boy.

The hilarious dinner where we developed a concept for the new TV show RUN, RUSSEL, RUN starring Russel D McLean and his catchphrase "Now THAT I can do." Thanks to Al, Damien, Kate, Charles, Adele, Kat, Vincent and Russel for such a fun evening.

My lovely new shoes - courtesy of the aforementioned Christa Faust.

Being insulted by young Kat Heubeck in such a lovely way. Knowing that I am a big fan of 70s punk (it having been the music of my heyday), Christa had also bought me a book about an LA punk club from the late 1970s. Kat, taking a look at it, said "Oh! A history book." I am, officially, history.

Meeting one of my heroes - Cathi Unsworth - and getting to talk music with her. It made me come home and play my old Sisters of Mercy albums.

Being inspired by Harrogate to finish up/write three short stories on the train on the way home, and dying to get stuck into the new screenplay.

Anyway, a wee bit of Scottish crime fiction news, because it doesn't just all stop while I'm away, you know. Before that, a rather marvellous picture from Harrogate of those Reservoir Scots Allan Guthrie, Stuart MacBride and Russel McLean (aka Mr Giggle, Mr Ponytail and Mr Breadcrumbs).

Craig Russell unwittingly leads tourists astray.

A review of Alexander McCall Smith's THE DOG WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD, reviews of Grant McKenzie's SWITCH and NO CRY FOR HELP, and Publisher's Weekly on Denise Mina's THE END OF THE WASP SEASON.

Win tickets to the Edinburgh Book Festival.

Finally, several authors who were at Harrogate choose their favourite fictional characters.

Crimefest Panel Report - Born To Be Bad

Following yesterday's general report from CrimeFest, I'm going to post a few specific panel reports. But, before I get to those, happy birthday to Badsville. This blog is 2 years old today, started after a conversation with the lovely Declan Burke at Crimefest 2 years ago.

And now, a panel report.

Born To Be Bad - The Nature of Evil. Panellists were Peter James, Steven Saylor, Yrsa Sigurdardottir and Andrew Taylor, moderated by Steve Mosby. First of all, Steve Mosby is an excellent moderator. He asked some really thoughtful, insightful questions and got a lot out of all the panellists.

I didn't realise, but Peter James started out writing supernatural thrillers. The first thing he did was to mention Steve's burglary, two days before (another thing which makes Steve a great moderator - he lost all his panel notes in the burglary and still managed to do a brilliant job). Peter James said that he has always been interested in whether there's such a thing as evil. He once spent a day at Broadmoor (as a visitor, rather than an inmate) and said that it seemed as though everyone fitted into two categories - schizophrenic and treatable, or sociopath/psychopath and wired differently. With the latter category, it depends on your parents and upbringing as to whether you turn out to be a political leader or a murderous serial killer (editor's note - sometimes, the two are interchangeable).

Steve said to Steven Saylor that there's a verb in Japanese (Tsujigiri) which means "to try out one's sword on a chance wayfarer" and asked whether that viewpoint affected what he writes, given the historical setting. Steven Saylor said that young Spartans were allowed to go out and kill helot people for sport. He said that a lot of historical novels glamourise people like Julius Caesar etc, but, in reality "great people of history are like the larger carnivora - best viewed through stout bars." He noted that Nero had really just wanted to be an actor and added "If only they'd had 'Rome's Got Talent'." He also said that, worryingly, he'd had 2 e-mails from readers who were moved by his apparently 'sympathetic portrayal of Nero". "I hope not." he said.

Steve asked Andrew Taylor whether he felt there were answers to present situations to be found in the past. Andrew said that, when you write novels set in the past, you realise that people felt very differently about good and evil and right and wrong back then. During the investigations into the murders by Fred and Rosemary West (which were local to him) he noted the black humour that came out (including a joke about an estate agent selling the house in Cromwell Street "two up, seven down", even though the feeling that swept the neighbourhood was an almost atavistic fear. He said that the Roth Trilogy has a central theme of evil and good, right and wrong, lawful and unlawful, and that crime writers can find a lot of interesting stuff in the gaps. He also asked how it was that people who worked in the concentration camps could be so nice at home.

Peter James goes out on patrol with the police and that he is most interested in murder as it is the one irreversible crime. He noted that he didn't think that all murder was evil (which caused a bit of a stramash during audience questions!). He said that he thought people like Fred West and the BTK killer were evil. Steve said that Ted Bundy had once said "What's a few less people on the face of the planet?"

Steve asked Yrsa whether she had ever based her books on any real life cases, to which she answered that, generally, that would make unreadable fiction. Murders in Iceland are domestic, mundane and bland in Iceland. She said that Iceland had only ever had one serial killer and he had only killed two people. She then went on to explain about the case, which sounded pretty horrible - an 11 year old boy who drowned two other boys. He was a sociopath who had been abused by his stepfather. She also referred back to the point made about the nature of evil then and now - commenting on what Steven Saylor had said about Ancient Rome. She noted that back then, the government would think nothing of putting people in an arena and then setting fire to it (hmmmmm, remind me not to go to the Olympics next year), whereas today that would be unimaginable. Steven Saylor then made the very good point that we would be more than happy to go and see a film about it, though. It was agreed that evil is a very uncomfortable subject on all sorts of levels.

Steve then asked Andrew Taylor whether crime fiction was a bit conservative - ie whether we like everything to be tied up neatly at the end. Andrew said that with crime fiction you take the most awful thing that can happen to someone. 9 times out of 10 it is resolved at the end. Peter James said that one of the reasons people read crime fiction is for the puzzle. However, there are more reasons and that crime fiction is the biggest selling genre in the English speaking world. He said we are genetically programmed to survive.

The topic was then thrown open to the audience for questions. Natasha Cooper asked about Peter James' comment that there is murder that is evil and murder that is not, and that his comment was like Kenneth Clarke's comment about rape. Peter James said it was different because the clear-up rate for murder is 92% and the clear-up rate for rape is 2%. Also, the chance of being raped by a stranger is very slim, while the chance of being raped by someone you know is very high but the effect is identical on every victim. He said that what he meant with his comment on murder is that there is a difference between a serial killer and the man that kills his wife in a drunken rage - ie that the difference is in the intent.

Another question from the audience was whether the panel were ever worried that the books they write stimulate people to commit murder. Steven Saylor said that he gets a free pass on this one as he writes historical fiction. Yrsa said that she didn't worry about it at all, since Icelandic criminals are stupid. "Murderers don't go looking for stuff like that." Andrew Taylor agreed, saying "If you're going to be a killer, you're going to do it without any help from me." He said that to read a book requires very different skills from those you need to psych yourself up for a killing. Peter James mentioned that the killers of Jamie Bulger got the idea from the film Chuckie. However, he added that crime fiction and increased forensic awareness was more likely to give villains ideas about how not to get arrested - although they were more than likely to wear a SOCO suit and gloves and then throw the gloves in the nearest bin.

Peter James said that the darker the character of a fictional villain, the more readers love the character. Steve Mosby made a very interesting comment that, while this applied to murderers, it didn't apply to all crimes, noting that there were no books with rapists or paedophiles as protagonists (an excellent and very chilling point - especially when you consider the popularity of a character like Dexter).

A further questioner asked whether the panel thought evil could be the gradual nibbling away of good. Andrew Taylor said that a lot of crime is banal and Peter James said that after a lot of murders you often see press interviews that say "He was so nice, I never would have guessed."

The panel were then asked to what level of evil they would go. Andrew Taylor very honestly said that if he'd been in the SS he thought he would have been socialised into evil. Yrsa said that to be evil, she thought that you have to have the capacity for hate.

Phew - I think that's enough today. It took me longer to write that, than it took to listen to the panel :o) I made notes at three other panels so will write them up over the next couple of days. I attended other panels but didn't take notes.

The Warm Glow of CrimeFest

Back from CrimeFest. Apologies for not blogging but things were just too hectic. Besides, internet access in the hotel cost something like £3000 per night (just slightly cheaper than a Southern Comfort and lemonade at the bar).

It was a brilliant weekend. Lots of old friends hugged, lots of new friends made (and some of those were hugged), the panels I went to were excellent (I shall write reports up of some of them over the next few days), the panels I moderated went well - I think - thanks to my lovely panelists. And I didn't vomit all over them, so that was a bonus. More of those panels later in this post.

The best part of the weekend is getting to spend time with people I really don't spend enough time with and laughing a lot. Some of those moments could not possibly be reported here.

My Mum and Dad made went too, and that was lovely. I took them out to dinner on the Thursday and after that my Mum and I went to the ballet. When we came back to the hotel we discovered my Dad in the bar. I was greeted with "Oh, Donna, we've been hearing all about you from your Dad." Oh. Shite. That phrase followed me all weekend. And each time, it worried me more. My Mum and Dad had a great time, as always. Everyone was lovely to them, and my Mum got to chat to some actor from Heartbeat, spend a weekend saying "Eee, our Donna, where on earth did you get those bloody shoes?" and buy a monkey for her 'grandson' Chris Ewan. As an aside, at the Gala Dinner, when neither Chris nor I won the Last Laugh Award (it was won by the charming Len Tyler who will no longer be able to remove his lucky tie) this conversation ensued between Mum and me.

"So you and Chris didn't win, then?"
"No, Mum."
"That's a shame."
"Thanks, Mum, but it's OK - I didn't expect to win."
"I didn't mean YOU, our Donna. I wanted Chris to win."
"Thanks Mum."

On to panel reports.

On Friday I was moderating two panels.

The first was I Was A Male Warbride: Confessions of a Crime Fiction Author - with Chris Ewan, Helen Fitzgerald, Douglas Lindsay and Steve Mosby. They were brilliant - interesting, funny, and they submitted to my terrible questions with panache and aplomb. As well as asking them questions about their books, I interspersed these with confession-type questions - whether they had ever done anything illegal, most embarrassing moment etc. I wish I'd been in the audience, rather than actually asking the questions, because I would love to report on their great responses. They all submitted gracefully to having to do homework in advance. I asked them to read out their worst ever review, and also to write the beginning of a story with an animal protagonist.

Here are the stories

Douglas Lindsay's story is here: http://www.barney-thomson.com/blog.asp?blogid=4876

Helen Fitzgerald's story:

Her husband hanged me from the Rowan tree. Said she needed to let go of her attachment to me. “You can’t replace the real world with that fucking bunny,” he said. At ten o’clock tonight, he found me in her secret place, took me out into the garden, looped a string around my neck, and hanged me while she banged on the window of her locked bedroom. It’s after eleven now and she can still see me. She’s stopped screaming, but she’s crying, hands touching glass as she watches me go. I’m not dead yet and she knows it. She can see my ears quivering, less and less rampant as the insides of me flatten. "I’m going now," I say with barely moving ears.

Her husband has unlocked the door. "Come on," he orders, "come to bed." He has no settings, this murderer, no buzz no matter where or how hard she she presses.

She kisses her fingertips and touches the glass. "Arriverderci my rabbit," she says. "my every time dead cert. I must go and endure the real world."

Chris Ewan's story:

A Fly Vendetta Thriller

I was a fly in a glass. There was water inside the glass. There was a throwaway coaster on the end of it. The water was sloshing around. I was sloshing with it. This was on account of the movie that had been playing on a TV over the bar. Not a bad movie. Except for one scene. A scene where some guy drowned a fly in water and then brought it back to life with a sprinkling of salt. Now every chump in the bar wanted to drown a fly. Every guy wanted to produce a little magic with some salt. And I happened to get the goof who was just a bit dumber than most. He gave me a real good shake. A real thorough drenching. Like I was in a washing machine. Like I was in a toilet flush. Then he dumped me on a napkin and tipped half a pound of salt over me. I wasn’t crazy about this guy. I was buzzing mad. First thing I did when I came round was I gave him the finger. Flies can do that. Maybe you didn’t know. Truth is, flies can do a lot of things. They can mess with you in all kinds of ways. I was going to mess with this guy. And no amount of salt was going to help him.

Steve Mosby's story:

Action thriller with STIs

As Corporal Green discharged his final rounds at the army of antibiotics advancing on his position, he glanced down at his fallen comrades and was finally forced to accept the harshness of his predicament. I'm a goner, he told himself. I'm a goner 'ere.

Brilliant stuff.

My second panel was Monkey Business: The Last Laugh shortlist panel. Panellists were Colin Bateman, Colin Cotterill, Chris Ewan and L C Tyler. Again, they were excellent and great fun. Again, they were gracious enough to submit to homework. This time, a fascinating fact and an alternative bio.

Fascinating Facts

Chris - I once worked as a chemical cleaner in a meat factory. After that, I worked in a factory making Glade Plug-it-in, Plug-it-ins. Neither job was as glamorous as it sounds, although they both paid better than being a crime writer.

Colin C - I was kicked out of the recovery ward after my circumcision after the nuns discovered I'd drawn cartoons of them on the wall behind the curtain.

Len - I once had a very long conversation with the King of Norway about Newcastle United.

Colin B - I am personally responsible for the Nolan Sisters reforming.

Alternative Bios

Chris Ewan had the idea for the Millennium Trilogy several years before Stieg Larsson began writing the series, but he’s never claimed any royalties because he’s such a nice guy. But he’s no pushover, either, and if Stephenie Meyer doesn’t pay up soon, his legal team are going to tear her a new one. Born and raised in Professor Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, he currently lives in your home, in the small back bedroom you rarely go into. He generally keeps himself to himself, but sometimes he likes to watch you sleep. He never touches you, though. He leaves that to the guy who lives in your attic.

Colin B - I once sat on a wall beside Matt Damon; Matt Damon failed to recognise me. I'm the only man in history to have been sued for libel by the Boys Brigade. Things have been much better since I got out of prison. (NB - most of Colin's is actually true).

Many authors write under a pen-name and live their life under their real name. Len Tyler writes under his real name and does his day jobs under a variety of aliases. Those familiar with Len's film work, for example, will know him as Daniel Craig. As Jenson Button he regularly drives for Maclaren. Finally, if you were watching a certain wedding at the end of last month, you will probably have caught a glimpse of Len in his latest day-job as Leghumper the Royal corgi.

Colin Cotterill, after years of dreaming of becoming a woman, was rejected by the surgical assessment team for being 'too manly'. He used the operation money instead to bribe a publisher into printing his first book. He then bribed a few hundred people into buying them and has been pumping money into the readership pool ever since. Asked if he has no shame he replied, 'no'.

I'll post more reports over the next few days.

In the meantime - thanks to friends old and new for making it such a great weekend. Too many names to mention, but you know who you are. I really had a brilliant time and am still basking in the warm glow of happiness. Crime fiction fans and writers are just the nicest people. And big congratulations to Adrian and Myles for putting on such an excellent convention.

Bad News, Good News, More Good News

Bad news and good news from Crimefest. The bad news is that Don Winslow has had to withdraw which is a real shame. The good news is that the excellent and very funny Christopher Brookmyre will be taking his place as Toastmaster. Having seen him in action a few times, I know he will be both funny and interesting, so I'm looking forward to that. I can't believe it's only a month away. I've already set my panelists their homework (I'm seriously worried, based on a recent tweet by the lovely Steve Mosby), but I need to prepare my questions and re-read some of their books. I am moderating two panels. Both on Friday (so at least I get the nervous torment over early) I WAS A MALE WARBRIDE - CONFESSIONS OF A CRIME FICTION AUTHOR, with Chris Ewan, Helen Fitzgerald, Douglas Lindsay and Steve Mosby; and MONKEY BUSINESS - WHEN MISCHIEVOUS CROSSES OVER INTO DECEITFUL BEHAVIOUR, with Colin Bateman, Colin Cotterill, Chris Ewan and L C Tyler.

The BBC's response to the genre fiction debate.

If you're in the Isle of Man next Wednesday, go and help Chris Ewan launch his new book THE GOOD THIEF'S GUIDE TO VENICE. I've just got a copy of it and am well chuffed as it's one of my favourite series.

Alexander McCall Smith's opera, a report on a recent event in New Jersey, and a review of THE DOUBLE COMFORT SAFARI CLUB.

Philip Kerr discusses his protagonist with Boston.com.

And, finally, not Scottish, but excellent news, the lovely people at Hard Case Crime are bringing out a never-before-published novel by the late, great Donald Westlake.

Have a lovely Easter, Dear Reader.

Lemmings, Warbrides, Monkeys and Rhinos

Well, this weekend's cinematic viewing was a bit of a duffer - a French film called Lemming. We put it on our Lovefilm list with high hopes, having seen the excellent Harry, He's Here To Help from the same director the previous week. Unfortunately, it was pretentious, overwrought, incomprehensible twaddle. Oh well, you can't win them all.

Crimefest moderators and panellists are being contacted with their assignments. I'm moderating two panels. One of them is called I Was A Male Warbride: Confessions of A Crime Fiction Author and will feature Chris Ewan, Helen Fitzgerald, Douglas Lindsay and Steve Mosby. Yesssssssssss! What a lucky moderator I am. I am already devising some fiendish homework for my lovely panellists. Possibly the history of the cosy mystery through the medium of interpretative dance. For the other panel - titled Monkey Business - not all the panellists have come back yet to say they're available so I'd better shut up about that one, but it's also a cracker. And yes, there is a theme to the panel titles.

A review of Christopher Brookmyre's PANDAEMONIUM.

I always read the International Crime Authors blog with interest - they always have such great posts. I mostly link to those penned by Colin Cotterill, who is a comedy genius, and a lovely man to boot (not that I would, of course - that wouldn't be nice). Today, however, here's an excellent post by Margie Orford on the ethics of writing about crime.

No Scottish Academy of Literature after all.

Ian Rankin's naughty neighbours.

Gillian Galbraith is doing some events in Edinburgh in March.

Alexander McCall Smith offers to buy a rhino for Edinburgh.

Friday Philanderings

A hodge-podge of pre-weekend links today.

First of all, well done to Peter May for winning his second French book award.

The Vinyl Villain with an excellent review of Karen Campbell's SHADOWPLAY - a review with which I heartily concur. And Stars/Crickets with a review of Louise Welsh's THE BULLET TRICK.

Jake Kerridge of theTelegraph spoke to several writers at Harrogate about being a crime writer.

The lovely Maxine over at Petrona is rounding up all her reviews by country. And she's reached Scotland.

See Val McDermid along with Sophie Hannah in Manchester on Friday 22nd October.

Lovereading on Kate Atkinson's STARTED EARLY TOOK MY DOG, and on Alexander McCall Smith's involvement in Scotland's Engage For Education events.

The Scotsman muses about authors called Black.

He's not Scottish, and I have really no excuse for putting this link here except that he's one of my favourite writers (and if you haven't read his books you really should), but this guest blog post by Steve Mosby over at Musings of an All Purpose Monkey is just brilliant.

And finally, if you want to buy a flat that Ian Rankin's Inspector Rebus once visited, then it's yours for £360,000. And very nice it is too, but...£360,000????

Sunday Summary

An audio report of Ian Rankin, Denise Mina and Neil Gaiman at the Edinburgh Book Festival. And here you can watch the Vertigo Crime TV commercial. And more Ian and Denise, along with other Scottish authors, as they are celebrated in Canada.

Denise Mina is reviewed in Toronto's NOW Magazine.

And well done to Ian Rankin who wins the V Festival award from the Institut de Cultura de Barcelona. He also appears in Belfast where he showcases THE COMPLAINTS and gets excited about a plot to kidnap a tiger. And still more Ian Rankin here, in a pre-performance discussion of James Hogg's Confessions of A Justified Sinner (which I'm going to see in a couple of weeks).

More on Alexander McCall Smith making a monkey out of Macbeth, including news that it may be coming to Scotland. And in the real life Scotland Street, residents are having their door plates stolen.

Irvine Welsh on how TRAINSPOTTING allowed him to buy a home for his mum.

Aly Monroe appears at an event at the Edinburgh Bookshop on 18th November.

Alex Gray featured at Suite 101.

The lovely Brian at BSC Review on his top 50 novels of the decade, which includes Scottish author Ray Banks. And, since of the ones Brian mentions that I've read, I absolutely love all of them, I'm going to be using this as a shopping list for new books. Some further excellent recommendations in the comments section.

The Telegraph reviews Liam McIlvanney's ALL THE COLOURS OF THE TOWN.

The 'As Others See Us' exhibition, which includes Christopher Brookmyre.

And, finally, he's not Scottish, but following on from the Bouchercon panel I reported on in my last post, here's one of my favourite writers - Steve Mosby - on violence in crime fiction. An excellent post.

A Brief Photographic Interlude

In my previous post I mentioned the dual loveliness of Lord Kevin of Wignall and Steve Mosby as they wore their matching shirts with elan and panache. Here is the proof, courtesy of photographer crimeficreader. I also have to say that they were both more than happy to hug and kept up the pose for far longer than was necessary. Just saying, that's all.

Harrogate, Hugs and Monkey Pleasure

I arrived in Harrogate yesterday to attend one day of the crime fiction festival, to see old friends, meet up with new ones (hi Alison, hi Michael - nice to meet you both!) and get my supply of hugs to keep me stocked up for the next few months. The monkey pleasure is an irrelevance relating to a discussion over dinner in Wagamamas (yes, we did have a most salubrious conversation) but I thought it might amuse John Rickards, as such things seem to do. I also signed a contract (without reading it - was I so wrong to trust Allan Guthrie? Al - I'm sure that the words 'soul' and 'devil' that I spotted at the top of the page before you whipped it away were of no relevance were they?)

I also spoke to Johnny Depp's brother, marvelled at Laura Lippman's ability to do press ups whilst reciting the titles of Marx Brothers' films, admired David Simon's yummy shoes, thrilled at Steve Mosby and Kevin Wignall wearing matching flowered shirts, and decided that since my surrogate son Chris Ewan is the only crime fiction writer on the Isle of Man, I am claiming the Isle as part of Scotland and including Chris in my list of links and news items as it doesn't look as though anyone will be starting a blog for Isle of Man crime fiction any time soon. You see, son, there is a benefit to having me as your mother after all. Grandma and Granddad send their love by the way. Your Grandma has knitted you some long underwear now that you are officially part of Scotland. You only need to get drunk on Buckfast once a year to qualify.

Anyway, on arriving in Harrogate I hopped into a taxi to my cheap hotel. I’d been worried on the train on the way down that my hotel was so cheap it must be a brothel. My worries were not assuaged by the taxi driver who, when I told him which hotel I was going to, said “Oh dear, you can’t win them all.” But it was fine. And the room service sandwiches at 2.30am this morning were the most delicious sandwiches I have ever had.

Anyway, yesterday I went to one panel, and the cabaret in the evening courtesy of the lovely Lord Kevin Wignall, who gave me his pass. The panel was excellent – Music To Murder By with Martyn Waites, Dreda Say Mitchell, John Harvey and Cathi Unsworth. It was extremely well moderated by Andrew Male from Mojo music magazine.

Each of the panellists had chosen a track that represented them, their taste in music, or was important to them in some way.

Martyn Waites – Isaac Hayes (I’ve forgotten the title- I was so shocked he hadn’t chosen a Nick Cave track that it didn’t register.

Dreda Say Mitchell – Soft Cell – Tainted Love

John Harvey – Billie Holliday – These Foolish Things

Cathi Unsworth – The Damned – New Rose (I immediately decided I was going to buy one of her books after the panel).

For all of them, the music of their youth was important, hearing a certain track would spark off memories and they used this to bring a rhythm to the narrative and to bring an inner life to their characters. John Harvey said that he tries to use what the character gets out of the music to underscore what a character is feeling at the time. Cathi Unsworth related this back to going into a pub in London a few years ago and seeing the lead singer of the 1980s one-hit wonders Splodgenessabounds (you remember their seminal hit ‘Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Please, of course? They are, in fact, still going to this day, apparently) She said that there are pubs all over with musicians who had minor hits way back when, surrounded by their ageing roadies, and all of them are still 18 in their heads.

The panellists were asked whether they listened to music while they wrote. Cathi said that she couldn’t write without a good soundtrack. Martyn said that he had only once been able to listen to music while writing and that was the Tom Waits track Ruby’s Arms. He had invented a pub with that name and he listened to the track over and over because of the melancholy in it that he wanted to reflect in the conversation his characters were having in that pub. He said that you can reflect emotion in the music the character is listening to.

John Harvey was asked why he chose Billie Holliday as his particular piece of music. He said that her voice has so much life and story in it. I like the way he said that. He also said that even from the early days jazz was associated with crime – speakeasies, drugs, and Billie Holliday’s own drug abuse and spousal abuse – you know from listening to her voice that there is a crime story there.

Dreda Say Mitchell said that there is a strong parallel between music and crime fiction in that crime writers can tell a good story – you can’t tell a good story unless you understand rhythm. The whole of life is about rhythm.

The panellists talked about whether you can have too many cultural references in a book, or whether they might actually put a reader off, rather than add to the story. Martyn said that you have to make peoples’ other senses work while they are reading a book. It can sometimes be a problem when you don’t know the music. The skill of the writer is to make that connection between the character and the reader even when the reader doesn’t actually know the piece of music, or, in fact, dislikes it. John Harvey said that he used to have that problem with George Pelecanos' books which he loves otherwise. He doesn’t have that problem any more and didn’t know whether this is because he is now used to it or whether there are fewer musical references.

Cathi's next book is called BAD PENNY BLUES. It's set in the 1960s and focuses on a real life serial killer. As part of her research and to get into the mood, she immersed herself in the music of the time and found out what was Number 1 in the charts on the day each of the serial killer’s victims died. She said that the songs became so much more sinister when put into that context – ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’, ‘The Night Has A Thousand Eyes’, and, particularly, ‘She’s Not There’. The tracks take on a different dimension and provide a mocking context to the action.

The panellists were asked whether they thought that many fictional detectives seem to need their music, almost as an emotional crutch. Martyn said that this is because it’s what people do, and this is also the same for books – it is a time to rebalance and recover your equilibrium. John said that it also helps with the mood and links between scenes., and Cathi said that it can also spark off an idea – both in the reader’s head and also the detective’s head.

Martyn said that he tries to use music sparingly, and only when it will add something. In his book THE MERCY SEAT the character is listening to that very track (by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds) while he is contemplating suicide. Cathi said that Nelson Algren has a book called WALK ON THE WILDSIDE and Nick Cave has a whole album based on that. As Nick Cave is a favourite of mine, I’m going to hunt that book down. Has anyone read it? It looks good, and Nelson Algren's three rules of life made me smile - "Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own."

It was an excellent panel. I’d already read and enjoyed all the panellists’ books other than Cathi, with Martyn Waites being a particular favourite. Cathi Unsworth’s books really appealed to me after seeing her on the panel so I bought her book THE SINGER which is set in the punk era of the late 70s – right up my street.

So, dear reader, what songs would be part of the soundtrack of your life, or which make you think of crime fiction? I would be interested to hear your comments on this. I've already mentioned Tom Waits and Nick Cave but here, for what it’s worth, are a few of my favourite crime fiction related songs or artists:

THE FLAMING STARS (not to be confused with The Flaming Lips). The lead singer, Max Decharne who wrote the non-fiction book HARDBOILED HOLLYWOOD. He's a big fan of crime fiction (as seen by the titles of some of the band's songs - You Don't Always Want What You Get, Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye, Face On The Barroom Floor, A Hell of A Woman, New Shade of Black, Downhill Without Brakes...songs from the bottom of a beer glass.

THE RAMONES - 53rd and 3rd is about a male prostitute who kills his customer with a razor blade (written by Dee Dee Ramone who was, apparently, a male prostitute at one point to feed his heroin addiction). The KKK Took My Baby Away was written by Joey Ramone allegedy after ultra-conservative Johnny Ramone nicked his girlfriend. Blitzkrieg Bop with its line "Shoot 'em in the back now", Beat On The Brat which was written by Joey Ramone after she saw a mother beating her child with a baseball bat, Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue...loads of dark and twisted lyrics in their songs.

VIOLENT FEMMES - Country Death Song - about a man who pushes his daugther into a well. "Well, I'm a thinking and thinking, til there's nothing I ain't thunk, Breathing in the stink, till finally I stunk. It was at that time I swear I lost my mind, And started making plans to kill my own kind." brrrrrrrrrr.

THE CRAMPS - with their wonderful brand of psycho noir.

THE HANDSOME FAMILY'S Beautiful William "Was he given a package by a man on the train? We found his car by the roadside later that day...He left his lights burning. He left his perfect lawn, His automatic sprinklers about to switch on."

MARK LANEGAN - Methamphetamine Blues

LOU REED, THE CLASH, THE SISTERS OF MERCY...I shall stop there :o)

UPDATE: Oh, and PS - thank you National Express trains for the faulty toilet door which inconveniently opened while I was mid-wee.