Strontium, Sugar and Spanners

In my perusal of all things Berlin for our upcoming trip I have discovered the following:

a) Berlin has a Ramones Museum (yippee!)

b) Berlin has a sugar museum

c) Restaurants serving German food have only meat options. Even the desserts are meat. With extra meat on the side. Which reminds me of one of my favourite websites - The Gallery of Regrettable Food - check out Lunches and Brunches and Meat! Meat! Meat!
d) There used to be a Museum der Unerhorten Dinge (with an umlaut over the o) which I think means 'Museum of Unheard of Things. It is now sadly closed. However, there does appear to be a Museum der Dinge. As in "Let's go to the Museum of Stuff. I believe they have things there."

Unfortunately, we are not going to be in Germany for this, but if you are, go along and see Helen Fitzgerald along with another of my favourite authors, Steve Mosby, in Germany on October 2nd.

And, continuing the German theme, here's German journalist and presenter Jorg Thadeusz (another umlaut on that o) on youtube talking about Val McDermid. I believe I heard him saying she's 'spannend' so I'm hoping he was calling her exciting. However, he's talking so fast and my German is not really up to it. So, apologies Val, if he's calling you a spanner...

Irvine Welsh appears at Belfast's Feile an Phobeil Festival.

The Telegraph quizzes Tony Black on why he loves his Edinburgh. But he apparently doesn't love it that much - Craig Robertson will be replacing him at the Edinburgh Book Festival event with Gillian Galbraith on Tuesday 17th August.

Allan Guthrie and Alexander McCall Smith will be appearing at the inaugural Three Lochs Book Festival in Strontian between September 16th and 18th. I thought Strontian was a chemical element with the atomic number 38 but apparently it's a little town in Argyll.

Talking of Alexander McCall Smith, here's an article in the Washington Post.

This made me laugh - stand up if you love Kate Atkinson. And a new six part series - Case Histories - will be appearing on the BBC.

Here's an Edinburgh Book Festival primer, courtesy of the lovely people at The Skinny.

Collapsing New People

An about-the-houses title for today's post. Anyone who can work out the convoluted machinations of my brain send me an e-mail to the usual address and I will pick one at random and send you either a copy of OLD DOGS or something from my book collection based on what I think you will like (and please don't think I will be offended if you say "For heaven's sake Donna, please please please don't send me OLD DOGS").

So, first of all, a request. We're off to Berlin for 6 days in September (woohoo!). Does anyone have any suggestions for things to see and do, and places to eat and drink? Any hot spots for music (Ewan and I both like indie/alternative/punk)? Anything quirky and off the beaten track we should see? We're staying 4 nights on the 21st floor of a 1960s concrete carbuncle that was the residence of GDR dignitaries (and still is, apparently), and 2 nights in a more conventional hotel. I can't wait.

Listen to some audio highlights from Harrogate Crime Festival here. And Janet O'Kane rounds up her own highlights from the Festival. Helen Carter over at the Guardian talks about braving the Dragons' Pen. Meanwhile, Ali over at the Rap Sheet is still catching up on Crimefest.

The Inverness Courier on the dark crime fiction coming out of Scotland, focusing on Tony Black and Craig Russell mostly. On the lighter side the Mystery Maven reviews M C Beaton's DEATH OF A VALENTINE. And the Mirror has an opinion on Craig Russell's THE LONG GLASGOW KISS, calls Stuart MacBride "tartan noir's greatest exponent" and enjoys Caro Ramsay's DARK WATER.

Catch Lin Anderson at Bonnybridge Library on August 12th, and Quintin Jardine in North Berwick.

Vikram with an interesting alternative perspective on Ian Rankin's LET IT BLEED.

And, finally, a fascinating snippet about Arthur Conan Doyle's father. Whilst Lone Locust Productions enjoyed the first episode of the new TV series.

Penicillin and Pile Cream

Amongst this weekend's film viewing was the wonderful Scottish film Ratcatcher from 1999, directed by Lynne Ramsay. It's about events on a tough Glasgow housing estate during a strike by the binmen, and mostly told through one boy's eyes. It's unsettling, uncomfortable, touching, funny and sad.

I also watched the first of the new Sherlock BBC TV series. I really enjoyed it (nice modern take - loved the bit with the phone boxes and security cameras and the quote about the three-nicotine patch solution). Did anyone else see it?

Scottish arts organisations face funding cuts.

A video interview with Louise Welsh.

Murder Most Scottish from the Caledonian Mercury with some Scottish serial killers and ne'er-do-wells through the ages.

The lovely Caro Ramsay guest blogs on Murder is Everywhere.

Biblio Baggins made me smile with this letter to Kate Atkinson.

The Scotsman debates whether it's a hard time for hardbacks.

Catch Stuart MacBride along with Mark Billingham in Liverpool and Manchester on 18th and 19th August.

Conspiracies, death-threats, pharmaceutical shenanigans - all over who's going to provide pile cream in Millport.

Pouting of Glasgow

This is the 'I'm sulking because I'm not going to Harrogate Crime Festival post.

The fight over the planned redevelopment of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Surrey home. And a trailer for the BBC's Sherlock, which airs this weekend.

Philip Kerr talks about his books, while Musings and Wanderings reviews MARCH VIOLETS.
A review of Helen Fitzgerald's THE DEVIL'S STAIRCASE which calls it disturbing, disgusting and riotous. As, indeed, is Helen herself...

Val McDermid at the Chiswick Book Festival from 17th to 19th September. Before that she's in New Zealand - summed up nicely by Craig at Crimewatch.

And Ten's July Book Club discusses Kate Atkinson's CASE HISTORIES.

Near Toronto? Like books? Like naked girls? How about naked girls reading? You can thank me later. You can also thank me for the fact that this blog does not have naked girls reading as its theme. I'd run out of html code for the photo.

"I've stopped speaking to him for obvious reasons"

Val McDermid will be in New Zealand from 22-24 August, and also at the Melbourne Writers' Festival in Australia. As will Louise Welsh. Closer to home, Quintin Jardine will be at the Fringe By The Sea festival in North Berwick from August 10th to 15th.

Ian Rankin on video talking about THE COMPLAINTS. And, if you speak German, here's a video about Craig Russell's LENNOX. Sadly, it's not possible to babelfish a video.

A review of Peter May's Second Life novel - VIRTUALLY DEAD. And one of Val McDermid's THE DISTANT ECHO.

Alexander McCall Smith recommends his summer reads. And Classic Mysteries on McCall Smith's ' gentle detective.'

A review of Kate Atkinson's CASE HISTORIES. And Shelf Love reviews the audio version of WHEN WILL THERE BE GOOD NEWS.

More on the new Sherlock Holmes TV programme. And another one.

Books From Scotland round up the highlights of the Word Power Book Fringe.

And, finally, this seems a bit of a drastic way to avoid going to work. Ouch.

Glad He Ate Her

A truncated Sunday post today - it's been a busy weekend. We went to stay with the lovely Zoe Sharp and her husband Andy and it was excellent fun. On the downside, I said to Zoe - who's a professional photographer - that I hated photos of me, so she took that as a challenge and forced me to do a photoshoot. I believe she regretted it after about 5 minutes and I now have two photos that I can use should it ever be necessary to have a proper photo. However, please let that never happen.

So, in the absence of a Sunday summary delayed until Monday, here's something ridiculous.

I've always wanted to write a historical mystery but I have absolutely no useful knowledge of any time period - still, I've never let that stop me up until now...

Glad He Ate Her - A Roman Mystery

It was 124 BC, and I was on my fourth dead body of the week. The first three were routine Christians thrown to the lions, but this one was different - the death of a young man wearing the purple robes of a senator would need to be investigated carefully and the obvious solution of poisoning by this year's mad Emperor covered up as usual. I sighed as my sergeant rushed up excitedly, his toga looking as though it hadn't seen the Tiber's washerwomen for a month or two, and his sandals incorrectly laced in his hurry to get to the crime scene. I'd obviously roused him from the dual pleasures of a jug of Falernian wine and the scented arms of the Greek snake charmer Athenia. "Hail Clavdivs!" he saluted breathlessly.

I sighed. "Soggidubnus," I reprimanded him, "How many times do I have to tell you - it's Claudius. We Ancient Romans only spell it Clavdivs because we don't yet have writing implements that do curved letters easily. Now, get down to Headquarters and get the forensics team up here PDQ". I bent down and picked up the calfskin wallet lying by the body. I needn't worry about fingerprints - after all, they hadn't been invented yet.

I pulled out the Chariot Driving Licence and studied the charcoal drawing that looked remarkably like the dead man. Charltonius Hestonius.

At that moment, the Medical Examiner arrived. "Dr Hannibalis Lectorus," I shook his hand. "This is a nasty one. We'll have to get the full might of the CSIus Laboratorius on this one. How do you think he was killed?"

Dr Lectorus licked his lips and surveyed the dead Senator. "Do you see the wheel marks and hoof prints?" he said. "It looks to me as though someone drove over him and then, just to make sure, reversed the horse and drove over him backwards. We've seen a few of these recently."

"You're thinking a Chariot Rage incident?" I said. "What with these and the ram raids, this is getting tedious."

"Ram raids?" asked Lectorus. "That's a new one on me."

"You must have seen the reports in the Papyrii." I said. "Some young rams have been raiding shops in the High Street. Walmarticus have been hit twice. The new spring season togas were abominably munched by the marauding rams."

Lectorus shook his head. "I don't know what's happening to Rome these days. It's going to the lions." We both turned as a chariot came hurtling around the corner at top speed, its horn blaring and the blue flame on top being held carefully by a eunuch. "Excellent, Claudius. CSIus are here."

Three people dressed in the white togas of the CSIus Laboratorius technicians jumped out. I nodded to them "Gilus, Warwickus, Catherinus. I'm glad you're here. Can you get the luminolus on these blood splatters here. And there's a sandal mark in blood by the side of the body. I want the evidence bagged in linen, tagged with papyrus and the results on my desk before the ides of March. Is that clear? And Gilus...stop checking the body for insects. By Jove man, he's only been dead a couple of hours."

Those Scots Get Everywhere

A nice review of Ian Rankin's BLOOD HUNT. And here's the man himself on video talking about DOORS OPEN.

Everyone seems to be reading Kate Atkinson recently. The rather wonderfully named Biblio's Bloggins loves Kate Atkinson's CASE HISTORIES. And the equally marvellously named Tallulah Mankiller reviews WHEN WILL THERE BE GOOD NEWS and there's another review here. And a final one here.

A nice wee write up for the marvellous LONG TIME DEAD by Tony Black. Novel Readings enjoyed Denise Mina's FIELD OF BLOOD and a review of Nicola Upson's AN EXPERT IN MURDER which features crime writer Josephine Tey as the sleuth.

Talking of Denise Mina, here's an excellent video of her talking at Uddingston Library.

Charles Cumming talks about spies.

Val McDermid is appearing at the Melbourne Writers' Festival at the end of August, along with some other British crime fiction writers.

Campbell Armstrong takes Glasgow detective Lou Perlman to San Francisco.

More on the Unbound strand at the Edinburgh Book Festival.

Finally, Scotland's double-decker dead.

And finally finally...that Ramones anthology - Alistair made the brilliant suggestion of having all stories kept under 600 words to reflect the fact that Ramones songs are very short - brilliant idea.