"Got the shim sham shimmy rushin' up my spine"

I cannot find Super Goo on youtube, but that's where today's Cramps lyrics come from.

I had a lovely,but very busy, weekend. I was on a training course for facilitators of workshops for creative writing for health and wellbeing. It was such good fun, I met some lovely people and it's really going to be helpful for my university placement. As a result, however, I'm even more behind than normal. Oh dear.

Some of the UK's literary festivals are featured here. But it's not a full round-up, by any means.

The World According To Who? reviews Val McDermid's FEVER OF THE BONE, Martin Stanley thoroughly recommends Ray Banks' GUN, Grecian Urn looks at Kate Atkinson's CASE HISTORIES, The Star Online enjoys Ian Rankin's THE IMPOSSIBLE DEAD and Eva Hudson reviews Denise Mina's THE END OF THE WASP SEASON.

Are women writers taken seriously?

The Daily Record talks to William McIlvanney.

Quintin Jardine on Scottish independence. He's...errrrrrr...not particularly keen on politicians.

Alexander McCall Smith will be at the Wivenhoe Bookshop this Thursday. And he's interviewed by the New Zealand Herald.

"I'm the maddest road rattler that you ever done met"

Title courtesy of The Cramps, as usual.

This weekend's cinematic viewing was Martha Marcy May Marlene which was a very creepy and unsettling film about a girl who escapes from a cult. Her experience is shown in an understated way through flashbacks. John Hawkes is fantastic as the charismatic and chilling Manson-like cult-leader Patrick (he also played the scary Uncle Teardrop in Winter's Bone) who renames all his female acolytes in a very simple but effective way of showing who's in control.

Paul Johnston is interviewed over at The Crime of It All.

Russel McLean teams up with ShortbreadStories to help the Million For a Morgue campaign.

Crime Pieces reviews Peter May's THE BLACK HOUSE, The World According To Who reviews Ian Rankin's DOORS OPEN, Eurocrime reviews Val McDermid's THE RETRIBUTION and Music And More reviews Ray Banks' WOLF TICKETS.

Ian Rankin says that authors need publishers.

A Val McDermid short story takes to the stage. And Val herself will be appearing at the Scarborough Literature Festival in April.

Another Festival - this one in July in King's Lynn and featuring Philip Kerr. And Stuart MacBride will be talking about BIRTHDAYS FOR THE DEAD in Perth on March 13th.

Declan Burke talks to Allan Guthrie, amongst others, on ebook pricing.

Her Love Rubbed Off

An apt Cramps title for the blog post today. And, to celebrate Valentine's Day, those lovely people at Pulp Press and For Books' Sake have reduced the price of the Short Stack anthology in the UK, or US for the day. What could be more romantic for Valentine's Day than giving your lover ten tales of brutal, ferocious crime fiction written by ten brutal, ferocious women? And if that's not cheap enough for you, you can win a copy here.

This weekend's cinematic viewing was the directorial debut of Paddy Considine, starring the brilliant Peter Mullan as Joseph - a man who is violent and brutal and shown as totally unlikeable right from the start (really, you have been warned), and the equally brilliant Olivia Colman as Christian charity shop volunteer Hannah - a woman with a secret. Harrowing, bleak and really, really sad. I was crying from the opening scene and was never far from a hanky for the rest of the film.

A review of Val McDermid's THE RETRIBUTION, two for M C Beaton with DEATH OF A PERFECT WIFE and AGATHA RAISIN AND THE QUICHE OF DEATH, and Groovy Daz with a groovy review of Ray Banks' DEAD MONEY.

Aly Monroe with one of her usual thoughtful and interesting posts - this one on character behaviour and reader reactions.

Huge congratulations to Helen Fitzgerald whose excellent THE DEVIL'S STAIRCASE goes into film production later this year.

Alex Gray on why crime fiction is the most borrowed genre in Britain's libraries. And The Scotsman considers the same topic and the legacy of William McIlvanney's Laidlaw.

Tony Black's THE STORM WITHOUT is to be published by a new independent publisher from Newcastle - McNidder and Grace.

And just in case you're looking for the perfect gift this Valentine's Day...

Don't Mess With Me - I'm Savage and Brutal

First of all, I'm very excited to announce that my short story DEPRAVITY LANE appears in SHORT STACK - a new anthology of pulp fiction written by women (the US kindle version is here). The print version will follow. This is the result of a competition held by the wonderful people at For Books' Sake and Pulp Press last year.

I'm very, very glad I have the flu because I've spent the day in bed reading all the other stories and I'm so pleased to be included in such a wonderful line-up. The characters include punk rock journalists, zombies and xenobiologists, and there are stories of freaks and fairytales, sadness and madness, disease and destruction, revenge, weirdness and just good, old-fashioned nastiness. Apparently, we are "a savage and brutal bunch". Excellent. Dad, this one is not for you. Don't even mention it to Mum. My own story is a wee homage to one of my favourite books and films - Nightmare Alley (which gives me the opportunity to steal this brilliantly doctored poster courtesy of the marvellous Smudge MacRae at Blasted Heath).

The other stories are by Shelagh M. Rowan-Legg, Bernadette Russell, Jane Osis, Zoe Lambert, Icy Sedgwick, Evangeline Jennings, Gill Shutt, Claire Rowland and Mihaela Nicolescu. A tasty treat for fans of wicked women.

Ian Rankin calls the BBC a bunch of fannies and numpties (and Val McDermid isn't very happy either). And Ian also complains about his scantily clad Twitter followers.

Alexander McCall Smith talks about medical ethics and teapots (yes, it's the Daily Mail).

Austcrime reviews Gordon Ferris' TRUTH DARE KILL, a review of Val McDermid's THE RETRIBUTION and A DARKER DOMAIN and Eurocrime reviews Lin Anderson's PICTURE HER DEAD.

An interview with Christopher Brookmyre.

Douglas Lindsay is his usual hilarious self.

Ray Banks on the state of crime fiction. Some great points in the comments - especially Steve Mosby's.

The Bats Have Left The Bell Tower

Alexander McCall Smith on the etiquette of regifting. Of course, there is another alternative. I volunteer for a UK telephone helpline charity and if you got any unwanted gifts, or you have any books - signed or otherwise - that are looking for a good home, I'm helping to organise the annual conference in February, and those would make smashing raffle prizes, so please feel free to re-gift them my way and I will love you forever :o)

And now, we need to talk about Kevin... I haven't read any fiction since I started my Masters Degree in September but, coming back from my Mum and Dad's in the wilds of Mordor after Christmas, I fired up my Kindle and got stuck into K J Wignall (aka Lord Kevin of Wignall)'s BLOOD. It's not crime fiction (although there are crimes in it). It's Young Adult vampire fiction. No - definitely not my usual fare, but Kevin Wignall is one of my favourite writers (who deserves to be far better known than he is) so, since it's been far too long since he had some crime fiction out in English (come on publishers, am I really going to have to learn Finnish to read DARK FLAG? Sinun täytyy olla pilaa (that might be Finnish for 'you've got to be kidding'. Since I got it from an internet translation thingy, it is equally likely to mean 'I've just eaten your grandma's bullfrog')).

Anyway, back to vampires. My last (and probably only) enjoyable encounter with a vampire was with the brilliant Bela Lugosi's Dead by the equally brilliant Bauhaus. My least enjoyable encounter was with that self same Bela Lugosi's 1931 Dracula. I was 13 and babysitting for the Bysouths, who lived down the road. It was nearing midnight and I foolishly turned the TV over, only to discover Bela Lugosi saying "I bid you welcome." I was petrified. I had to phone my mum to get her to come and finish babysitting with me. She was not happy. When she arrived, I didn't
know whether to be more scared of her, or the creak of Dracula's coffin opening.

So...BLOOD. It's bloody brilliant. I'll do a proper review in January, but just in case you're looking for something a bit different, I thought I'd mention it as I absolutely loved it. It was totally captivating. Not your stereotypical vampire story - far from it, in fact. Great characters (I felt very sad for Will - the main character, who's been 16 for the last 750 years. There are also some wonderful wee snippets about how he got to where he is today, and the plot was deliciously twisty and turny. And it was as creepy as hell.

And now, on to Scottish crime fiction.

Our Michael Malone picks his top crime reads of 2011, including Tony Black's excellent TRUTH LIES BLEEDING. And the lovely Julie Morrigan interviews Tony (and look at that lovely snippet of news about a Blasted Heath publication).

Oooooh, doesn't the cover for Russel McLean's next book, FATHER CONFESSOR, look good?

Sherlock Holmes under investigation.

McDroll at I Meant To Read That loved Ray Banks' DEAD MONEY.

The Spectator reviews the Alexander McCall Smith writing machine.

James McAvoy talks about Irvine Welsh's FILTH.

Here's my latest Blasted Blog column at Blasted Heath.

This will probably be my last blog post until 2nd or 3rd of January as I will be partying Hogmanay away in the Lake District, so thanks everyone for being so supportive, and I hope that next year will be a brilliant year for all of you. And here's hoping that I get to hug at least some of you in 2012.

Happy Happy, Merry Merry

No Cramps today, instead, some of my favourite alternative Christmas songs.
Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight) - The Ramones
Stuff The Turkey - Alien Sex Fiend
Shot My Baby For Christmas - The Vaudevilles
The Christmas Song - The Raveonettes
Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis - Tom Waits
I Do, Dear, I Do - Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds
Il Est Ne Le Divin Enfant - Siouxsie and The Banshees
I Don't Believe In Christmas - The Tabaltix
There's Trouble Brewin' - Jack Scott
Fairytale of New York - The Pogues
There Ain't No Sanity Claus - The Damned
Run, Run, Rudolph - Humpers
I Want An Alien For Christmas - Fountains of Wayne
Merry Christmas You Suckers - Paddy Roberts
Black Christmas - Poly Styrene
Santa Doesn't Cop Out On Dope - Sonic Youth
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit - Half Man Half Biscuit

Over at Tony Black's Pulp Pusher a series of recommendations of, and by, Scottish authors and bloggers amongst others: Post 1, post 2 and post 3. And Tony has a lovely, heartwarming, wee Christmas story up too. Manky Christmas, ya bawjaws...

Groovy Daz reviews GUN by Ray Banks. And Paul Brazill on DEAD MONEY.

Sarah at Crimepieces reviews Val McDermid's A PLACE OF EXECUTION,

Lin Anderson recommends her favourite reads. And The Express recommends Anthony Horowitz' THE HOUSE OF SILK and Ian Rankin's THE IMPOSSIBLE DEAD.

Here's Russel McLean with his top 10 books of the year.

Denise Mina with Pepys Christmas.

Stuart MacBride has a wee pressie for Evening Express readers.

A story from Alexander McCall Smith in the Express, and one in The Scotsman (does the man have a team of elves writing for him, I wonder?).

A Christmas Day radio play penned by David Ashton. And Ian Rankin's also on the radio on The Jazz House on New Year's Day.

A muscular Conan Doyle? And is Sherlock Holmes more brawn than brains too? And a treasure trove from the doctor who was the inspiration for Holmes.

Peter May's THE BLACKHOUSE is Richard and Judy's top Autumn Book Club read. And a video trailer for the follow-up - THE LEWIS MAN.

I leave you with the genius that is Douglas Lindsay, talking about the 10 worst Christmas songs.

Have a lovely festive season, Dear Reader. xxx

Queen of Pain

The Cramps again, of course.

I am now down at my parents to be spoiled over Christmas and it reminded me of a trip a few years ago. It's not just buses, you see. Public Transport and I have one of those love/hate relationships. I hate it, and it loves making my life a misery. Whenever I step on a train, or a plane, or a bus, or into a taxi, I take a deep breath and pray to everyone I can think of that I'm going to be sane at the end of the journey.

A couple of years ago I spent Christmas, as usual, in the soft and comfortable bosom of my family near Peterborough. After a wonderful time, we set off home. Now, I should state here that on Christmas Day I got the flu and I was feeling pretty ill. So I wasn't really looking forward to travelling anyway, but it was made all the worse by the fact that British Rail, in their infinite wisdom, had ripped up the railway tracks between York and Darlington, at the busiest time of year, so part of our train journey was done by bus.

Our seats were booked for the first part of the journey in Coach F. When the train arrived at Peterborough, we walked along past all the carriages - A, B, C, D, E, G, H. No F. So we walked back, just in case a tipsy carriage assembler had put coach F somewhere else. Still no Effing F. I spied a guard, a way up the platform, so, battling through the thronging hordes, and slamming myself into a pillar in the process (I didn't get transported to Platform 9 3/4 so I guess I won't be off to Hogwarts this term), I ascertained that Coach F was now Coach C through the miracles of Alphabet Soup so we managed to get a seat just before the train left.

At York, we all trooped out of the train, through a muddy bog that the station staff euphemistically referred to as 'car park' and onto buses. By this point we were already running 15 minutes late. Not to worry, said the guard on the train, the train would be waiting for us at Darlington. Absolutely. It definitely wouldn't be going anywhere until we arrived, we had his assurances on that.

So we all piled onto the bus. The bus was one of those posh ones, where you go down a little flight of stairs to the loo. Good, since by this time I was desperate to go to the loo. I walked up the bus and descended the stairs, only to hear the booming voice of the driver over the bus's tannoy "Could someone tell that woman that the toilet isn't working". About 17 people called down the stairs "Oy, you, the woman with the red face, the toilet isn't working."

We arrived at Darlington 40 minutes late to catch our connecting train (you remember, the one that on no account, absolutely definitely posilutely would not have left without us?), only to find that it had left without us, and the next one wasn't for another hour or so. Since we'd missed the train we had seats booked for, we didn't have seats booked for this one but there would be a whole load of people who would have had seats reserved. You could tell who they were - amongst the hordes of people on the platform they were the ones with really smug looks, the 4 bus loads of people who'd all arrived too late for our train just looked increasingly desperate, and were eyeing up those less fit than themselves, to determine their best chances of elbowing people out of the way to get a seat. By this time, I felt really, really awful, and promised the train guard (a different one from the lying sadist at York station) that I would vomit all over his shoes if he couldn't promise me a seat. He leaned over and whispered "I'll give you a tip since you're not well - Coach C has all the unbooked seats on it."

"My saviour. Thank you, thank you." I kissed his hands, sobbed into his British Rail jacket and promised him my uneaten British Rail sandwich (uneaten for very good reason I might add).

The train arrived. We sped down the platform past coaches H, G, F, E, D, B, A... D, B, A???? Had anyone reported this wholesale theft of railway carriages? Was someone, somewhere, setting up home in two cozy GNER carriages called F and C on a disused stretch of line somewhere between York and Darlington?

So, we grabbed seats in Coach D. I'm afraid I may have made rather a fool of myself as I clung to it sobbing "You'll never get me off this seat, never. Just leave me to die here. I've never harmed anyone." Anyway, it seemed to do the trick, no-one asked me to move for the whole journey. Not even the nice man in the white coat carrying the large butterfly net who hovered by my seat for the rest of the journey.

Now, enough of the nonsense. Scottish crime fiction news coming up.

Luca Veste over at Guilty Conscience talks about his top 5 books of 2011. Not only does he include Ray Banks' DEAD MONEY and Helen Fitzgerald's THE DONOR, but his number 1 is also one of my own favourite books of the year - the amazing BLACK FLOWERS by Steve Mosby. Luca obviously has excellent taste, I shall have to read the other two in his top 5 - Nick Quantrill's BROKEN DREAMS, and Neil White's COLD KILL.

More Ray, as The All Purpose Monkey muses over DEAD MONEY. And Ed Kurtz - another man with exceedingly good taste - picks it as one of his top books of 2011.

Doug Johnstone's busy year.

Conan Doyle's Moriarty on the big screen. And a review of A GAME OF SHADOWS.

Metaliterature reviews Philip Kerr's THE ONE FROM THE OTHER, Savidge Reads reviews M C Beaton's AGATHA RAISIN AND THE LOVE FROM HELL, and Crime Fiction Lover reviews Alex Gray's SLEEP LIKE THE DEAD.

Ian Rankin talks about which literary character he'd like to sleep with and other topics.

More on the Denise Mina comic book adaptation of the Stieg Larsson books. And more on the Unbound 26 Treasures project which Alexander McCall Smith is part of.

Irvine Welsh to write Britpop musical.

The Scotsman talks about their books of the year and note that Denise Mina and Ian Rankin show the "range of what the crime genre can do".

Confessions of a Psycho Cat

I thought this Cramps song was apt.

Since I have told a few Glasgow bus stories recently, and I'm feeling lazy, I thought I would dig out an old bus story to accompany today's post, so here it is.

It was a lovely sunny Saturday afternoon, so I decided to go into the city centre to buy a new pair of sandals. Yes, I know - the World Shoe Mountain currently resides in my spare bedroom, but, well, you never can tell when that rumoured Slingback Shortage is going to occur, so, abiding by that old Girl Guide motto 'Be Prepared', off I trotted. (For the purposes of this tale, it's actually irrelevant that I was thrown out of the Girl Guides due to my reliance on my own personal motto 'Be a Pain in The Arse'.)

So there I was, sitting on the bus, gazing out of the window and listening to my ipod (The Clash if anyone cares). About half way into town, I noticed someone sitting down next to me. When I say 'I noticed' what I actually mean was 'I couldn't help noticing because he sat on my knee and breathed stale beer fumes all over me'. Oh good, that most annoying of Bus Pests, the Glasgow drunk. He apologised profusely. I mostly couldn't hear what he was saying due to the music so I I just smiled and turned away. Then he spoke to me again and I just nodded and smiled and looked out the window. So he tapped me on the shoulder and spoke again. I pointedly took out the earpiece from the ear on the Bus Pest side and said "Sorry?"

"Oh! Are ye listening tae music hen?"

"Yes."

"Whit are ye listening tae?"

"Just a mixture." (My patented method of getting rid of The Bus Pest is be brief, be polite, don't give them too much information, they'll only ask more questions).

"Is it some of that meatrocker music?" (OK, so my patented method needs a little work). "Ah'm an Elvis man maself. Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra... Ah'm no much o' a singer mind." I breathed a sigh of relief - thankful for small mercies - at least I wasn't going to be treated to a rendition of My Way. "Although, I dae a pretty guid Ma Way, if I dae say so maself." I cast about feverishly for a hole of swallow-me-up size, but luckily he decided not to sing.

In one way, I would have loved to have seen him sing. He had apparently recently been to the false Teeth Shop but was obviously in a hurry on teeth shopping day. I knew this because a) he had the most perfect set of top teeth (apart from the fact that they moved independently from his gums) and b) he had 2 yellow bottom teeth (and I don't mean he had two yellow bottom teeth in an otherwise perfect set. I mean he had only 2 bottom teeth, and they were bright yellow). Watching him speak was like watching a badly dubbed Hungarian film. When he finished speaking, his top teeth were still in motion - moving away from his gums, out over his bottom lip and, on a couple of really scary occasions they were sucked back into his mouth and disappeared towards his throat. I was mentally practising the Heimlich manoeuvre.

Instead he held out his hand "Ah'm Big Chick. Pleased tae meet ya hen. And you are?...."

"Donna", I said quietly.

"Did yez hear that?" he announced to the rest of the bus "The lassie's called Donna. Whit time is it Donna?"

"Ten past one."

"Ten past wan? Ten past wan in the MORNIN'?"

"Errrr.....no, afternoon" What, did he think Glasgow had sneakily moved locations while he was down the pub and was now situated in the land of the midnight sun? At that point, a woman got on the bus and he said to her "Dae ye want ma seat pal?" She shook her head and moved on, despite the pleading look I gave her. Big Chick leaned over to me and whispered (and, when I say 'whispered' what I actually mean is 'boomed loudly') "She's just jealous 'cos ah'm sittin' with you instead o' her." Yes, I should imagine the whole bus was positively emerald green with jealousy at my good fortune by now. At least, those who weren't sniggering with glee at my predicament and increasingly red face.

"Where are ye fae' Donna?"

"Here. I live here."

Again, the announcement of this titillating piece of information to the rest of the bus "Did yez all hear? Donna lives in Glesgae."

Someone up the back of the bus laughed. My Bus Pest turned round, taking his jacket off "Hey youse up the back - haud yer wheesht. Dae yis want tae fight me?" Luckily no one took him up on this. I say luckily because he then turned back to me and said "Ah'm a bouncer." Oh. Really. Since 'Big' Chick was less than 4 feet 6 inches tall and more than 104 years old, I found this a tad difficult to believe.

"Ah'm gettin' aff at the Sandyford." I breathed a sigh of relief. The Sandyford was a pub a couple of stops further up. "Are ye coming in? Ah'll see you right." I didn't know whether he meant for a drink, a fight or a lumber*, but frankly, I didn't want to ask.

"Errr, no, thanks all the same but I have to go into town."

"Okay hen, well you come in and see me on Monday. I'll be in the Sandyford fae' aboot 10 in the morning. It's a great wee boozer. It opens at 8am, so if ye get up and ye feel like a wee drink, ye can just stoat along."

Great. Hold me back.

Big Chick heaved himself out of the seat and walked to the front of the bus, turning round at the front to give me a last beery wave "Bye Donna hen. Ah'll have a wee pie and a pint waitin' fer ye on Monday mornin'."

Mmmmmm, can't wait.

* Lumber - Glasgow slang for a hot date.

And now, your Scottish crime fiction news.

The Picky Girl reviews Catriona McPherson's DANDY GILVER AND THE PROPER TREATMENT OF BLOODSTAINS, Marion Public Library on Alexander McCall Smith's THE FORGOTTEN AFFAIRS OF YOUTH, which is also covered by Cleveland.com. A reviw of Stuart MacBride's A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE. Actually, I'm not sure if it's a review or an academic dissertation...

Holmes and Watson to star in Some Like It Hot remake? And the Ottowa Citizen talks about the Sherlock Holmes film.

Kate Atkinson's STARTED EARLY, TOOK MY DOG is one of the top crime fiction books for 2011 for the Seattle Times. And the Irish Independent includes Ian Rankin and Val McDermid on its list of stocking thrillers. Doug Johnstone has a rather excellent top 10 list which includes Ray Banks and Helen Fitzgerald, as well as my lovely friend Christa Faust. Nice list, Doug.

Ian Rankin will be at the Oxford Literary Festival in March 2012.

Denise Mina to adapt the Stieg Larsson series into graphic novel format.

And now, back to an essay on social justice and empowerment. Ta-ta, dear Reader.

Sunday Girl

Hope you had a lovely weekend, Dear Reader. This weekend's cinematic viewing was the French Canadian film INCENDIES - a really powerful, chilling film about a mother whose dying wish is that her twin son and daughter find their family (specifically the father they thought was dead and the brother they never knew they had). To do this they have to visit an unspecified Middle Eastern country. The film moves between past and present and the very first scene - set in the past - is stunning.

My latest Weird Sister blog over at Blasted Heath is up - this one about music. Anyone who reads this blog regularly will spot some familiar references.

Lots of reviews in the virtual and actual spheres today. First of all, reviewingtheevidence review Ian Rankin's THE IMPOSSIBLE DEAD and M C Beaton's THE SKELETON IN THE CLOSET, Eurocrime reviews Karen Campbell's SHADOWPLAY and Tony Black's TRUTH LIES BLEEDING, The Nerd of Noir loves Ray Banks' DEAD MONEY, a review of Aline Templeton's LYING DEAD, the Daily News in South Africa reviews Morag Joss' ACROSS THE BRIDGE and Philip Kerr's PRAGUE FATALE, and the Richmond Despatch reviews M C Beaton's AS THE PIG TURNS. Phew.

On the audiobook front, the Guardian is all Scottish this week with reviews of Ian Rankin, Tony Black, Peter May and Denise Mina. Nice.

It's that time of year when newspapers ask people for their recommendations for books to give at Christmas. Here's an interesting selection from The Guardian which includes Philip Kerr.

There's also a heap of stuff about Sherlock Holmes - a report on Anthony Horowitz' recent trip to Toronto, The Umbrella Organisation looks at Horowitz' HOUSE OF SILK, and the Los Angeles Times reviews Michael Dirda's ON CONAN DOYLE.

More about the stories inspired by portraits, including Alexander McCall Smith's. Ian Rankin donates a tie for charity, and World of Books Blog features Robert Louis Stevenson.

Can Your Pussy Do The Dog?

Today's Cramps title is in honour of today's last item of news.

A report from the East Ayrshire Book Festival, Imprint.

Alexander McCall Smith on how society is broken.

Eurocrime reviews Aly Monroe's ICELIGHT (which Aly reports is number 2 in the Daily Telegraph's list of thrillers for 2011 - well done, Aly!), Maxine over at Petrona reviews Aline Templeton's LYING DEAD, a reviewlet of M C Beaton's A SPOONFUL OF POISON.

Stuart MacBride will talk about his new book, BIRTHDAYS FOR THE DEAD, in Aberdeen on January 9th.

Quintin Jardine talks about the Reading Crime Writing Festival.

Booked podcast reviews Ray Banks' DEAD MONEY and interviews Allan Guthrie about Blasted Heath. And Ray Banks is interviewed over at Guilty Conscience.

Whatculture! asks how faithful Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes is to the original. And, just in case you can't be bothered to read Anthony Horowitz' Holmes noveL, HOUSE OF SILK. the Guardian has it as a digested read.

Goodie - my favourite award of the year: the shortlist for the bad sex awards is revealed in all its throbbing glory. The Guardian says that the Tsiolkas entry is unfit for publication in the mainstream press. Now I'm really interested to know what it is. The Literary Review are tweeting some of the entries.

Dames, Booze, Chains, Boots

Here's your Cramps video for today.

Helen Fitzgerald interviews herself over at Nigel Bird's gaff, and here's an audio interview with her at Blogtalkradio (starts 4 mins 5o-ish in).

Lots of reviews today. First of all, Undiscovered Scotland discovers Russel McLean, with reviews of THE GOOD SON and THE LITTLE SISTER. A trifecta of goodness for Allan Guthrie, as Connie Phoebe enjoys SAVAGE NIGHT, Paul Brazill reviewsTWO-WAY SPLIT and The Morrison Pen Review escapes into SLAMMER. Dorte looks at Ian Rankin's KNOTS AND CROSSES, and the Winnipeg Free Press reviews THE IMPOSSIBLE DEAD. Paul Brazill reviews Val McDermid's THE RETRIBUTION, and Declan Burke enjoys Denise Mina's THE END OF THE WASP SEASON for the Irish Times.

The Telegraph calls Aly Monroe "a gloriously defiant individualist." And here she is talking about WASHINGTON SHADOW.

Conan Doyle and the case of the vanishing football trophy. And more on the new Anthony Horowitz Sherlock Holmes.

The delicious Christa Faust and the dastardly Ray Banks interview each other brilliantly over at Crimeculture.

And another interview - Philip Kerr in The Scotsman.

You can win stuff over at Blasted Heath by guessing who their new columnist, Weird Sister, is.

Finally, if you read this blog regularly, you know that I love the book sculptures that have appeared in Edinburgh over the past months, so I was interested to read this article about what to do with books. I'm going to be doing a creativity project working with young women as part of my university placement. I think I'll do some altered books with them. I really like the idea of making poetry from random words on the page and then decorating the rest of the page.

Don't Get Funny With Me

Another Cramps-inspired title today.

Not only do we have Douglas Lindsay goodness over at his regular blog, but he's also going to be blogging weekly at Blasted Heath, and this week's is a cracker.

Alan Cranis reviews Ray Banks' BEAST OF BURDEN at Bookgasm. And Eurocrime reviews Lin Anderson's THE REBORN.

Jamie Bell talks about Irvine Welsh's FILTH.

The New Statesman on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

More on the Reading Festival of Crime which includes Stuart MacBride, Quintin Jardine, Denise Mina and M C Beaton.

An interesting post from Aly Monroe on history, film and books.

Have a lovely weekend, dear Reader. Tomorrow, Ewan is doing musical stuff so I am going to do some Crimefest programming . All author slots are now full (although you can sign up for the waiting list for panels). The website hasn't been totally updated with attendees and there are a couple of exciting names to be added. If you're coming and you have any panel topic suggestions, or special requests, please let me know and I will try and accommodate you.

Bikini Girls With Machine Guns

Sorry - no bikini girls or machine guns in this post - just another Cramps song title. Having said that, fans of bikini girls and/or machine guns should probably click on that link. Dad - that doesn't mean you. Here's a clip of Gardener's World for you.

More news on Scottish publisher Blasted Heath, with an interview with co-founder Kyle MacRae. And my annoying little brother Damien Seaman reads from his new book THE KILLING OF EMMA GROSS, which is published on 1st December. It's a great historical police procedural which fuses fact and fiction. It has as its backdrop the real life murders carried out by Düsseldorf serial killer Peter Kürten in the late 1920s (and every appearance of Kürten on the page sent a shiver down my spine), but it's about so much more than that and the fictional element is wonderful and full of heart. I loved it. And Heathen Ray Banks' BEAST OF BURDEN is reviewed by the perspicacious Alan Cranis at Bookgasm.

Sarah at Crimepieces (not Norm at Crimescraps!) with a very thoughtful review of Val McDermid's THE RETRIBUTION.

An interview with Ian Pattison. And the NZ Herald interviews Ian Rankin.

Joe Barone reviews M C Beaton's AS THE PIG TURNS, and Cyprus Life reviews AGATHA RAISIN AND THE TERRIBLE TOURIST.

Malcolm Redfellow on Philip Kerr.

More about the Anthony Horowitz Sherlock Holmes novel.

Off to see The Vaccines and The Arctic Monkeys tonight, then another day at university tomorrow. Anybody would think I was 18...well, until they saw me. 18 stone, maybe...

"If you saw a councillor up against a tree what would you think?"

All Hail the Heathens - Blasted Heath are getting a lot of nice buzz. The Scotsman calls them 'gifted' , there's an interview with Ray Banks over at Shotgun Honey and Detectives Beyond Borders talks about Anthony Neil Smith's THE WARRIORS. And if you rush over to the Blasted Heath site itself, you might still be in time to pick up Ray Banks' brilliant DEAD MONEY for free. And you can also watch Ray being interviewed by possibly the worst interviewer in the world...very funny.

The Vancouver Sun on Ian Rankin's THE IMPOSSIBLE DEAD, which is reviewed by the Globe and Mail.

Anthony Horowitz' new Sherlock Holmes novel - THE HOUSE OF SILK - is published this month.

Denise Mina will be at the New Zealand International Arts Festival next year. Closer to home, it's two for the price of one with the Mulgray Twins at the Portobello Library in Edinburgh on November 8th.

Talking of Denise Mina, the New York Times enthuses over THE END OF THE WASP SEASON.

The Book Dilettante has a reviewlet of M C Beaton's AS THE PIG TURNS.

And this happened where my parents live. Dad - better tell Mum to be a bit careful with the secateurs when she's out pruning the bushes.

The Creature From The Black Leather Lagoon

Another Cramps title, just in case you're wondering. It also describes how I feel, after spending the last week writing an essay every spare minute I have.

The Guardian reviews Ian Rankin's THE IMPOSSIBLE DEAD. And he's featured by George Stroumboulopoulous (I checked that 3 times and I'm still not sure I've got it right...), including a video interview, and Ian on his experience of committing murder, and on his favourite villains. Book-A-Day enjos WITCH HUNT. Finally, Ian talks to the Vancouver Sun.

Alexander McCall Smith's Mma Ramotswe on Radio 4.

Dead End Follies reviews Ray Banks' GUN. And Ray is interviewed by Tony Black over at Pulp Pusher.

An article on Philip Kerr. And PW reviews FIELD GRAY. I'm not certain, because I haven't read the book, but the last line of the review looks like a spoiler to me.

Helen Fitzgerald wants your best and worst pitches.

Anthony Horowitz on Sherlock Holmes.

Read the brilliant Douglas Lindsay over at Blasted Heath and get THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON free - today only. Go on, make Lindsay eat Pot Noodle.

Good Reviews, Bad Reviews, Great News...

Look at this Blasted Heath loveliness. I've come over all un-necessary. And an interview with Allan Guthrie - half of the deadly duo.

The charming Aly Monroe talks to CrimeTime about ICELIGHT. And Aly will be at the Guildford Book Festival on October 22nd.

A great post and comments over at Helen Fitzgerald's place on the topic of bad reviews. And congratulations Helen and for this (not sure what is in the public domain yet, Ms Blabbermouth, so I'll just make this a blanket to cover all your good news!) Brilliant stuff.

Over at Detectives Beyond Borders, Peter muses on the brilliance that is Ray Banks. And I Meant To Read That reads Ray Banks' GUN. Good to see Mr Banks getting some well-deserved praise.

Alexander McCall Smith on Australian TV. And a review of the first couple of the Corduroy Mansions series.

Kate Atkinson's CASE HISTORIES to return to BBC 1. And SFGate suggests subtitles.

Over at Mulholland Books Kate Atkinson asks Denise Mina some questions. And a review of Denise Mina's THE END OF THE WASP SEASON.

Ian Rankin on the joys of vinyl, and on the rather more dubious joys of author readings.

Philip Kerr's Desert Island Books.

Heath Lowrance reviews Nigel Bird's SMOKE.

I have just had a brilliant idea for a new book. Now I just need to find the time to write it...

A Fiction Feast

Val McDermid will be appearing in Lichfield today and at the Durham Book Festival next week (and I love the idea of the Book Doctor). In other Val news, EuroCrime reviews THE RETRIBUTION.

10 of the best films set in Edinburgh. They missed out one of my favourites - Crying With Laughter. Talking about Edinburgh films - the truth behind Trainspotting.

Les Edgerton says that he can't do Ray Banks' BEAST OF BURDEN justice, and then proceeds to do just that. Nice.

David Tennant is set to play Robert Louis Stevenson in a BBC Radio drama.

More on the NO REST FOR THE DEAD anthology.

A report from the Portobello Book Festival on a writing workshop featuring Allan Guthrie.

Ian Rankin's Edinburgh Playlist. Some good stuff there. Talking of Ian, here he is on The Wright Stuff, where he refuses to eat a rotten egg. Probably the most sensible thing he's ever done.

Finally, here's more on the exciting Blasted Heath news. Doesn't that Blasted Box look delicious?

Where the place?

Upon the Blasted Heath, that's where.

Yes, indeedy, this unscheduled post is to celebrate the launch of new digital publisher Blasted Heath - brainchild of the wonderful Allan Guthrie and Kyle MacRae (whose wonderfulness I can't vouch for and only suspect, since I don't know him).

Look out on 1st November for their hot-looking launch of 5 (yes, that's FIVE) books. You can listen to the authors reading from their books at the links below:

Ray Banks - DEAD MONEY (which I'm really looking forward to reading. It's apparently a total rewrite of THE BIG BLIND which was a fantastic book).
Douglas Lindsay - THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON (which I already own multiple copies of and am looking forward to having another one. So there)
Anthony Neil Smith - ALL THE YOUNG WARRIORS - in an interview here, he talks about it and it sounds fascinating (of course, it's Anthony Neil Smith - how could it be anything less than brilliant?)
Gary Carson - PHASE FOUR
Brian Pendreigh - THE MAN IN THE SEVENTH ROW which sounds like mad metaphysical genius.

as well as Gerard Brennan's WEE ROCKETS (a novel about granny mugging) in January 2012.

Huge congratulations to all involved - it's bound to be brilliant, exciting and warped, if that line-up is anything to go by. Right up my dark and twisted alley. I shall be first in line, kindle in hand, on launch day.

"Books of scientific iInterest are filed in the bottom, sir"

Val McDermid says grown-up books need a dead body in them, there's a great interview with her over a Declan Burke's Crime Always Pays., another one at We Love This Book,

The City Life reviews STRIP JACK by Ian Rankin, the Fleetwood Weekly News reviews Quintin Jardine's THE LONER, His Futile Preoccupations enjoyed Ray Banks' BEAST OF BURDEN, and a review of the TV version of Denise Mina's FIELD OF BLOOD.

More on Tony Black's film news.

A stage adaptation of Andrew O'Hagan's THE MISSING.

Scotiana has a piece on Alexander McCall Smith's books.

Crimeculture has extracts from Len Wanner's DEAD SHARP: SCOTTISH CRIME WRITERS ON COUNTRY AND CRAFT.

Finally, I think I'd rather be mugged in Edinburgh than go to a library in New Zealand.

Appeaser of Gangsters and Breaker of Wind

I mentioned last week that I've been involved in making a film for a charity I volunteer with. Well, today was the second day of filming. After last week's antics (which involved appeasing Glasgow gangsters and football hooligans), we thought this week would be much simpler. Unfortunately, this was not to be the case - mostly due to weather this time. We wanted shots from the Squinty Bridge (seen in the photo at the top of the page). By this time, the wind was howling. This would have been fine, apart from the fact that the microphone was picking all that noise up. The speaker for this part was patiently waiting to say his piece but the wind just wasn’t dying down.

“I know this might sound weird, Donna,” said our Director, “but do you think you could go and stand about 5 feet in front of him.”

Ah, my big break. My acting talents were required at last. “You want me just to stand by the railing, wistfully looking out towards the river? Or perhaps I should glide elegantly past him as he speaks? Just tell me what you want me to do. I’ve been studying the great Method actors.”

“Actually, I want you to stand in front of him and act as a windbreak.”

A windbreak? I was mortified. I know the camera’s supposed to add twenty pounds, but I thought that was only if you were in front of it – not within ten feet in any direction. However, consummate professional that I am, I bit back my tears and stood in the required position – trying to look as fat and wide as possible. Apparently, I succeeded – we got the shot – despite the wind I successfully broke. (Not as in “I broke wind”, you understand.)

Luckily, my enormous bulk came in handy at the next location. The Director wanted a shot looking up Kelvin Way. The only problem was that there was an enormous green rubbish bin spoiling the shot. Not your normal household rubbish bin – it was about 6 times the size and really, really heavy. As I wheeled it out of shot towards the side of the pavement, I realised it was on the way towards a parked car, at speed. I would like to say that I threw myself in front of it, but I didn’t. The Director ran up and rescued me.

Anyway, enough of that. The wonderful For Books' Sake reviews Shona MacLean's CRUCIBLE OF SECRETS.

Another one of those lovely mystery book sculptures has mysteriously appeared. Here's a post on some of the recent ones at the Edinburgh Book Festival. And more from the Guardian blog on the Festival.

Irvine Welsh in a sneaky plot to sabotage Hearts? And a trailer for Ecstasy.

Ian Rankin auctions off a character and himself for cancer research.

A review of Val McDermid's VILLAGE SOS on Radio 4, a great interview with her in the Scotsman, and Val wants to make people care when someone dies.

A review of Ray Banks' BEAST OF BURDEN.

Yay! Douglas Lindsay's blog is back after taking a break over the summer.

And, finally, this photo was taken by my partner, at a town in the Buckfast Triangle ("you get used to it").

When I was looking for articles to explain Buckfast to those of you who don't know, I found this brilliant one from the Uncyclopedia. Do read the warning at the top.

I think this photo is brilliant. Someone spent ages getting this display juuuuuuuuuuuust right.