Is that a cucumber in your pocket or are you etc etc?

We've been finalising the programme for Crimefest in the last couple of weeks. So my job - trying to sort out panels for around 140 authors - is done. Panel assignments have mostly been sent to moderators and panellists, and now I just have to fine tune following the inevitable "Sorry, I can't make that date" e-mails. It's a great division of labour amongst the three co-hosts. Adrian does all the hard work, Myles is the technical genius, and I get the fun. The programme will soon be up online here. Looking forward to seeing some of you there!

Talking of programmes, the schedule for Glasgow's Aye Write is now available. Lots of good crime fiction related stuff, including a tribute to Iain Banks, Watching The Detectives: Serial Crime with Denise Mina, Sophie Hannah and Alex Gray, (Sophie Hannah also has an event called The Poetry of Sex which looks really good - her poetry is great fun and what's not to love about sex? Errrr...not sure that came out right...). Allan Massie and David Ashton talk about historical crime and Christopher Brookmyre pairs up with Barry Phillips in an event to talk about - amongst other things I'm sure - his science fiction thriller BEDLAM (if you go, do ask him about the roast chicken/Borders bookshop story). William McIlvanney, the Godfather of Tartan Noir will be speaking, and Stuart MacBride and Gordon Ferris have an event called Dark, Dark Noir. Louise Welsh talks about her new book A LOVELY WAY TO BURN, a thriller set in a dystopian future, and the first in a trilogy and Val McDermid is in conversation with comedian Susan Calman in what is sure to be a fun event. And I'm not sure if this is a crime novel or not, but Natalie Haynes will be talking about her new novel THE AMBER FURY, which sounds brilliant.

And, finally, an event about the fabulous 21 Revolutions book from Glasgow Women's Library.  I'm really excited to have a story in this gorgeous book, alongside such luminaries as Karen Campbell, Helen Fitzgerald, Zoe Strachan, Louise Welsh, Denise Mina, Laura Marney, A L Kennedy, Anne Donovan...The list of gloriousness is endless. Plus me. Unusually for me, mine is not a crime story, but a story about a suffragette on hunger strike in Glasgow's Duke Street prison. You can hear it here if remotely interested.

And now the non-festival news. Firstly, the ideal gift for the Sherlock Holmes fan in your life.And an article on Conan Doyle in fact and fiction. Mystery File reviews John Buchan's THE THREE HOSTAGES, and a review of Alexander McCall Smith's THE MINOR ADJUSTMENT BEAUTY SALON, who is also introducing Precious Ramotswe to younger readers.

A couple of nominations for Irvine Welsh's FILTH at the Empire film awards.

And, finally, I love the bloke's reaction to being arrested. 

My Life Of Crime

This week, I have been spending my time in court. But fear not, I have not been up to anything untoward (at least, not any more untoward that usual). Au contraire, dear reader. I was being a pillar of the community, doing jury service. I don't think I have ever been so bored in my puff. I turned up five days running (it was the days that were running, not your humble, chubby correspondent with the dodgy knee, I hasten to add) and did very little other than sit around and teach myself Polish. Were I to write a legal thriller (in this case, a veritable oxymoron) about my experience, it would read thusly:

Chapter 1: Day 1: Sat around for five hours waiting for someone to find the defendant. Learned some Polish. Defendant remained unfound. Sixty potential jurors who had bothered to turn up went home a tad miffed.

Chapter 2: Day 2: Sat around for four hours. An actual case started. 15 jurors' names were pulled out of a hat. Me and 44 other jurors were not pulled out of the hat but still had to sit around for a while just in case (just in case of what, I am not quite sure). Learned some more Polish. 45 potential jurors went away a tad miffed.

Chapter 3: Day 3: Presence not required. Went to work unmiffed. Did not learn any Polish.

Chapter 4: Day 4: Sat around for 5 and a half hours, with various periods of huge excitement, interspersed with learning some Polish. Huge excitement number 1: a case was announced. 60 potential jurors waited with bated breath for their names to be pulled out of the hat. Defendant took one look at the faces of 60 people with bated breath and promptly pleaded guilty. Huge excitement number 2: news of another case was rumbling through the court. A defendant came and sat next to me. I moved away. Not because he was a defendant, but because he had bathed that morning in a vat of hideous 1980s aftershave and I felt quite nauseous. Huge excitement number 3: all jurors were taken to a room in the basement (presumably so they could fumigate the court room of Old Spice). The coffee machine was not working. Huge excitement number 4: The coffee machine was fixed, approximately 20 seconds before someone remembered us and 60 jurors were sent away a tad miffed and with caffeine withdrawal.

Chapter 5: Day 5: Sat around for 2 and a half hours, tantalised by tales of 3 potential cases. Learned some Polish (irregular verbs). The 3 potential cases melted away into nothingness and 60 potential jurors were sent away rejoicing that the dullest, most frustrating week of their lives was over.

Epilogue: Polish is very, very difficult. Might need several more periods of jury service to get my tongue around even the most basic phrases. Very aptly, for example, 'stop, thief!' Or, as we say in Polish 'zatrzymać złodzieja!'
 
Some forthcoming Scottish crime fiction books to look forward to:
James Oswald's THE HANGMAN'S SONG in February
Danielle Ramsay's BLIND ALLEY in February 
M C Beaton's DEATH OF A POLICEMAN in February
Louise Welsh's A LOVELY WAY TO BURN in March
Val McDermid's NORTHANGER ABBEY in March
Lin Anderson's THE CASE OF THE BLACK PEARL in March
Alex Gray's THE BIRD THAT DID NOT SING in March
Philip Kerr's WINTER HORSES in March
Tony Black's THE INGLORIOUS DEAD in March
Russel McLean's MOTHERS OF THE DISAPPEARED in April
Gillian Galbraith's THE GOOD PRIEST in April
Sara Sheridan's ENGLAND EXPECTS in April
Gordon Ferris' GALLOWGLASS in April
Craig Robertson's THE LAST REFUGE in May 
Doug Johnstone's THE DEAD BEAT in May
Caro Ramsay's THE NIGHT HUNTER in July
Catriona McPherson's THE REEK OF RED HERRINGS in July
Malcolm Mackay's THE NIGHT THE RICH MEN BURNED in August

Nomm nomm. And, in the meantime, why not treat your kindle to some free Allan Guthrie

And now, for a wee Scottish crime fiction round-up.

A review of Ian Rankin's SAINTS OF THE SHADOW BIBLE which has put The Saints Are Coming by The Skids firmly in my head. Which, by the way, is a Very Good Thing. And I Prefer Reading revisits Josephine Tey's MISS PYM DISPOSES.

A Dylan Thomas treatment of a Robert Louis Stevenson short story to be broadcast. 

William McIlvanney talks to Scotland Tonight, Aline Templeton talks to Female First, and Irvine Welsh talks about FILTH and Scottish Independence.  

Utterly brilliant Douglas Lindsay and Barney Thomson news. 

Finally, Sherlock Holmes' Curly Fu and Peanut? Or how about some animated versions - including Sherlock Doo and Sherlock Hound. 

Miłego weekendu, moje Nadobnisie (I have no idea if that last word is right, by the way. I might have called you all a bunch of sky-blue-pink jellyfish).

"Got the shim sham shimmy rushin' up my spine"

I cannot find Super Goo on youtube, but that's where today's Cramps lyrics come from.

I had a lovely,but very busy, weekend. I was on a training course for facilitators of workshops for creative writing for health and wellbeing. It was such good fun, I met some lovely people and it's really going to be helpful for my university placement. As a result, however, I'm even more behind than normal. Oh dear.

Some of the UK's literary festivals are featured here. But it's not a full round-up, by any means.

The World According To Who? reviews Val McDermid's FEVER OF THE BONE, Martin Stanley thoroughly recommends Ray Banks' GUN, Grecian Urn looks at Kate Atkinson's CASE HISTORIES, The Star Online enjoys Ian Rankin's THE IMPOSSIBLE DEAD and Eva Hudson reviews Denise Mina's THE END OF THE WASP SEASON.

Are women writers taken seriously?

The Daily Record talks to William McIlvanney.

Quintin Jardine on Scottish independence. He's...errrrrrr...not particularly keen on politicians.

Alexander McCall Smith will be at the Wivenhoe Bookshop this Thursday. And he's interviewed by the New Zealand Herald.

Her Love Rubbed Off

An apt Cramps title for the blog post today. And, to celebrate Valentine's Day, those lovely people at Pulp Press and For Books' Sake have reduced the price of the Short Stack anthology in the UK, or US for the day. What could be more romantic for Valentine's Day than giving your lover ten tales of brutal, ferocious crime fiction written by ten brutal, ferocious women? And if that's not cheap enough for you, you can win a copy here.

This weekend's cinematic viewing was the directorial debut of Paddy Considine, starring the brilliant Peter Mullan as Joseph - a man who is violent and brutal and shown as totally unlikeable right from the start (really, you have been warned), and the equally brilliant Olivia Colman as Christian charity shop volunteer Hannah - a woman with a secret. Harrowing, bleak and really, really sad. I was crying from the opening scene and was never far from a hanky for the rest of the film.

A review of Val McDermid's THE RETRIBUTION, two for M C Beaton with DEATH OF A PERFECT WIFE and AGATHA RAISIN AND THE QUICHE OF DEATH, and Groovy Daz with a groovy review of Ray Banks' DEAD MONEY.

Aly Monroe with one of her usual thoughtful and interesting posts - this one on character behaviour and reader reactions.

Huge congratulations to Helen Fitzgerald whose excellent THE DEVIL'S STAIRCASE goes into film production later this year.

Alex Gray on why crime fiction is the most borrowed genre in Britain's libraries. And The Scotsman considers the same topic and the legacy of William McIlvanney's Laidlaw.

Tony Black's THE STORM WITHOUT is to be published by a new independent publisher from Newcastle - McNidder and Grace.

And just in case you're looking for the perfect gift this Valentine's Day...

"People Ain't No Good"

Your Cramps title for today.

Soon, I will get back to blogging more than once a week. Soon...

This weekend, we watched Vietnamese film Three Seasons. It tells the stories of several characters - a girl whose job is to pick lotus flower and her relationship with her hermit employer, a cyclo driver and his infatuation with a prostitute, an American GI who is looking for someone, and a little boy who is a street peddlar. It's quite a slight film in many ways, but it's beautifully filmed and really interesting from the point of view of seeing a strange location.

The programme for the Aye Write! festival is now available and here are the crime fiction related events.

Friday 9th March
11am - 12.30pm or 4.30pm - 6pm - Helen Fitzgerald and Sergio Casci - Making the Pitch and Not Striking Out: From Pitch to Published (Creative Writing).
1pm - 2pm - Helen Fitzgerald and Sergio Casci - Book to Film and Film to Book: Adaptations (Creative Writing).
4.30pm - 5.30pm - Christopher Brookmyre - The Making of a Bestseller (Creative Writing)
6pm - 7pm - William McIlvanney.

Saturday 10th March
3.30pm - 4.30pm - Alex Gray and Ian Rankin: New Scottish Crime
8pm - 9.30pm - Panel Debate: Scotland's books - includes William McIlvanney

Sunday 11th March
3.30pm - 5pm - Panel Debate: What's Wrong With Women's Writing? - includes Karen Campbell.

Monday 12th March
7.30pm - 8.30pm - Alexander McCall Smith

Friday 16th March
9.30pm - 10.30pm - Mark Billingham and Christopher Brookmyre are Indiscreet

Saturday 17th March
2pm - 3pm - Gillain Galbraith and Karen Campbell - Ethics
3.30pm - 4.30pm - Lin Anderson and Caro Ramsay - Forensics

I think that's it - apologies if I've missed any!

And, in other news, K T McCaffery reviews Ian Rankin's THE IMPOSSIBLE DEAD, and the Sun Sentinel reviews Val McDermid's THE RETRIBUTION.

Irvine Welsh on his various projects, Jame McAvoy in FILTH, and a not particularly positive review of the ECSTASY film.

An interview with Philip Kerr.

Helen Fitzgerald blesses our libraries. And me too. My PLR is nowhere near as large as Helen's, but it took Ewan and I out for dinner at one of my favourite places, where I have discovered the joys of Hacienda de Chihuahua Crema de Sotol. Best of all though, is the thought that all those people were interested enough to borrow OLD DOGS. Thank you library users. That's the best thrill for me.

Finally, a final plea for any donations of books, or anything else for the helpline charity I volunteer for. All donations gratefully received for the charity raffle coming up. Thanks to everyone who has given stuff so far - I could hug you all. x

I'm a Thug and a Zombie

Hello, dear Reader, I hope you've had a splendid weekend. I've just spent a lovely day filming part of a short film for a charity I'm involved in. When I say 'filming', my involvement was minor, consisting mainly of fielding variations on the question "Haw, hen, is this part of that Brad Pitt zombie film they're making in George Square?" I'm trying to tell myself that they're mistaking me for Angelina Jolie, rather than a zombie, but...since I look as though I've eaten Angelina Jolie and still had room left over for dessert, I'm not exactly convincing anyone. My confidence was further dashed when we were filming in one of the stations. We had to get security passes, complete with photos, to be allowed to film there. Two of my colleagues - let's call them John Smith and Fred Jones - were first up to get their passes. They came back with nicely printed passes in the names of Mr J Smith and Mr F Jones. I was up next. I helpfully spelled my name. "Is that with an R E at the end?" said the official. I said that it was. I received my pass. All it said was "Donaldmuire". I didn't even get a Mr. I mean, the photograph wasn't particularly flattering but...still.

Allan Guthrie's Thuggish 13. And look at me, in there, nestled in such good company, looking all hard and mean and that.

A nice review of Len Wanner's DEAD SHARP: SCOTTISH CRIME WRITERS ON COUNTRY AND CRAFT. And a few more reviews - Denise Mina's THE END OF THE WASP SEASON, M C Beaton's DEATH OF A CHIMNEY SWEEP, Craig Russell's THE DEEP DARK SLEEP and BERTIE PLAYS THE BLUES by Alexander McCall Smith.

A short story by the brilliant Ray Banks over at Shotgun Honey.

I don't know whether Radio New Zealand have just put up these old radio interviews with Kate Atkinson and Val McDermid, but they just came up in my google alerts, so I thought I'd mention them.

Talking of Val, some reviews from the Edinburgh Book Festival, including one of Val's event. More book festival stuff with a review of the Iain Banks event, one of the William McIlvanney one I mentioned previously, and a podcast with Louise Welsh. And the Falkirk Herald chats to Alan Bissett.

The full line-up of the Soho Literary Festival, which includes Philip Kerr.

A veritable plethora

The Drowning Machine with an excellent review of Allan Guthrie's TWO-WAY SPLIT. And Allan Guthrie interviews Nigel Bird over at Criminal-E.

Peter Rozovsky on comic crime fiction and why Chris Ewan's humour works.

Lots of crime fiction appearances coming up. First of all, Russel McLean is at Blackwell's in Edinburgh tonight, Ian Rankin is appearing at the Morley Literature Festival on October 13th, and Val McDermid will be at the Ilkley Literature Festival on October 2nd. Before that, Val's at Waterstone's Deansgate, Manchester on September 12th. And remember, if you're in Edinburgh tomorrow, you can take part in a world record attempt.

Savidge Reads reviews Val McDermid's TRICK OF THE DARK, The List on Gordon Ferris' THE HANGING SHED, a review of Nicola Upson's Josephine Tey mystery, AN EXPERT IN MURDER, a reviewlet of Ray Banks' most excellent BEAST OF BURDEN, Criminal Element enjoys Catriona McPherson's DANDY GILVER AND THE PROPER TREATMENT OF BLOODSTAINS, and Murder By The Book looks at Chris Ewan's THE GOOD THIEF'S GUIDE TO PARIS.

A review of the stage version of Alexander McCall Smith's THE WORLD ACCORDING TO BERTIE and the print version of 44 SCOTLAND STREET: BERTIE PLAYS THE BLUES. And if you want to see where the 44 Scotland Street novels are set, you can do that very thing here. Finally, on the AMS front, you can listen to him being interviewed on Real Radio at the EBF.

An interesting interview with Gavin Knight about HOOD RAT covering crime fiction (I don't agree with all the points, needless to say), true crime, and feeling out of his depth in Glasgow.

A couple of reviews of the William McIlvanney event at the Edinburgh Book Festival where he takes a swipe at London publishers.

In another book festival event review - the careful Lin Anderson and the louche Tony Black. He is rather rakish.

And, finally, Scottish cow in freak ladder accident.

Berlin Calling

I've been investigating things to see and places to visit for our forthcoming trip to Berlin - so far my list includes an abandoned amusement park, some mechanical monsters, a cinema in a squat, and a sex museum. Plus I'm wondering how Ewan feels about a tank driving experience. For me, not him, of course.

I've always said that Ian Rankin is one of the most generous people in crime fiction and this just proves it.

A few interviews. First of all ten minutes with Irvine Welsh, a video interview with William McIlvanney, an excellent interview with Tony Black over at Crimeculture, and Craig Robertson talks about RANDOM.

And, talking of Tony Black, he and the equally lovely Russel McLean will be at Cowdenbeath Library on March 17th.

Here's Doug Johnstone in the Scottish Review of Books. And he's having a launch party for SMOKEHEADS (which I've just received - woohoo!) on Thursday 3rd March in Edinburgh. And here's the unofficial trailer. And he's all over the place, the floozy. I'm hoping to make the Aye Write event on the 8th.

Milo of Milo's Rambles reviews Charles Cumming's THE TRINITY SIX.

Alexander McCall Smith's opera - The Okavango Macbeth - has its first UK airing in Edinburgh on 20th and 21st April.

Have a lovely weekend, dear Reader. More on Sunday.

"Don't bring me a fat one"

Alexander McCall Smith's Precious Ramotswe would not be happy. I particularly love this quote from Botswana's President (amazingly, he's single):
"He then turned to the corpulent Botlhogile Tshireletso, a female minister, and said: "I don't want one like this one. She may fail to pass through the door, breaking furniture with her heavy weight and even break the vehicles' shock absorbers.""
Damn - it looks like I should give up those girlish dreams of being queen of Botswana, then.

Some videos have been posted by the Edinburgh Book Festival with some of the events - including ones with Louise Welsh, Denise Mina and Karen Campbell. Each one of those has a Part 2.

And, talking of Louise Welsh, here's an excellent review of THE CUTTING ROOM.

Ian Rankin on the best Scottish albums of 2010. I'm looking forward to seeing Mogwai in January. But before that, I have a second Black Rebel Motorcycle Club gig to look forward to. Oh, and while we're on the subject of gigs - Sonic Youth - next time you play a gig in the UK, please could you let me know before all the bloody tickets sell out. Thanks. Grumpy of Glasgow.

But I digress - back to Ian Rankin - he's in conversation with Phil Jupitus at the Edinburgh Bookshop on 16 December.

Supporter of the arts? Fan of Glasgow Celtic? Like William McIlvanney? Unbelievably rich? Then this is the gift for you.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Douglas Lindsay's blog - brilliant stuff.

Christopher Brookmyre talks about what makes a good title on BBC Radio 4.

Over at the excellent Psycho-Noir, Heath Lowrance has invited various crime fiction luminaries and ne'er-do-wells to come up with their Essential 20 Noirs. The lovely Nigel Bird of Sea Minor weighs in with his list, which includes several great Scots (plus several other favourites of mine - KNOCKEMSTIFF by Donald Ray Pollock, a Joe Lansdale, and Camus' L'Etranger). I've been watching this series of posts and noting down with glee the noir suggestions that I haven't read. And, by the way, Mr Lowrance, I am awaiting with some impatience a tap on the shoulder from THE BASTARD HAND.

And, finally, huge congratulations to my friend Michael Malone. Looking forward to reading BLOOD TEARS and putting your name on the roster of Scottish writers, our Michael!

You, Too, Can Be A Skagboy

Ian Rankin on The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. And let Ian guide you around Edinburgh with this free iPhone app.

The Scotsman interviews William McIlvanney.

A review of Louise Welsh's play - MEMORY CELLS.

Listen to M C Beaton on BBC4's Front Row.

A new book from Gordon Brown (Glaswegian crime writer, not that other bloke) - 59 MINUTES will be out very soon.

Jay Stringer with an excellent review of Allan Guthrie's BYE BYE BABY over at Do Some Damage, and Vince Keenan with an equally excellent review of Ray Banks' BEAST OF BURDEN.

Fancy a role in Irvine Welsh's TRAINSPOTTING prequel, SKAGBOYS?

In Which Your Humble Blogger Is Likened To A Lorry Load Of Horse Manure

This weekend it was my Mum's birthday, so we took a trip to surprise her. Last time I surprised my Mum for her birthday she burst into tears and said "This reminds me of the time your Granddad arrived with a lorry load of horse manure." This time, she just cried. Result.

My parents live in a complex with a lot of other...ahem...people of a certain age (most of whom, apparently, are dangerous when in possession of a mobility scooter, if these signs are to be believed. All of them knew about my visit as my Dad had told everyone except my Mum. One of them stopped me in the hallway to chat. The conversation, as is its wont, turned to crime fiction (it turns out he's an Ian Rankin fan). "Are you the lady who writes books?" he said.

"Well, yes, I suppose I am," said I.

"I'd love to read it," said my new friend.

"Weeeeeeell, there's a lot of swearing in it."

"I don't mind."

So I went into my parents' flat. "I need to get your copy of OLD DOGS to give to Brian."

"What?!" shrieked my mother. "You can't do that." She jumped off the chair (and with her dodgy knees too) and barged past me. "Brian, you can't read our Donna's book."

"Why not?"

"It's full of bad language. You think she's a nice girl, but she's not." She did, however, have an alternative solution. She went back inside and brought out GO TO HELENA HANDBASKET. "Here, take this one. It's weird, but there's less swearing."

Errrrr...thanks Mum.

Ian Rankin doesn't understand his first book.

An interview with Kate Atkinson. And a couple of reviews of STARTED EARLY, TOOK MY DOG.

More on the fight to save Conan Doyle's home.

If you're in Brighton on 20 November, you can go and see Louise Welsh.

The Coast Reporter has an article on Grant McKenzie.

William McIlvanney is taking a break from crime to write a book about Sean Connery.

KansasCity.com on Alexander McCall Smith's CORDUROY MANSIONS, The Musings Of A Dreamer on Iain Banks' THE WASP FACTORY, and Reading For The Joy Of It reviews Quintin Jardine's BLOOD RED.

And, finally, apparently, Scotland has more book festivals than anywhere else in the world. Yay for us!

The Plumber Reviews...

My Dad has now decided to open my blog up further on the reviewing front. In the comments section of the previous post he says "The Mermaids Singing I passed on to the Electrician who came to fit a new light in the hall. 'Oh!' he said 'I haven't read that one, I like Val McDermid' so maybe I will get him to do a review sometime." So there you go. That blog feature will no longer be called My Dad Reviews, but My Dad's Electrician Reviews.

A review of Alexander McCall Smith's No 1 Ladies Detective Agency. And he's appearing at the Vancouver International Writers' Festival in August.

Alex Gray talks to the Glasgow Herald about her health. While Suite 101 reviews GLASGOW KISS.

Louise Welsh is appearing at the Mitchell Library on 17th June as part of Refugee Week.

A few reviews for this round-up - Pat McIntosh's HARPER'S QUINE, Alexander McCall Smith's DOUBLE COMFORT SAFARI CLUB, and Lin Anderson's FINAL CUT and a lovely review of OLD DOGS over at Crimesquad. Thank you guys!

Whoops - Philip Kerr bites back after receiving bad reviews from Scottish writer Allan Massie. And here he is talking to German TV about his books.

And finally, a report from Aberdeen's Word Festival. And on a (fruitless) search of the Internet for William McIlvanney's Frankenstein's monster meets drunk Glaswegian poem, I found this interesting article on the roots of Scottish noir.

Back To Normality

A very brief post holiday catch up on some Scottish crime fiction news as I have a busy weekend ahead. Thanks to all who visited and commented on my Alaska blog. I had a wonderful time and have heard from quite a few of the students and teachers since. Some of the students have sent stories and poems, others have just written to say hello, which is lovely.

So, back to normality very briefly before I'm off to Crimefest in Bristol next week, where I'm moderating two panels - Grimly Fiendish on Friday at 11.20am with Chris Ewan, Helen Fitzgerald, Steve Mosby and Zoe Sharp and Howling At The Moon (the Last Laugh Award Shortlist panel on Saturday at 4.10pm with Chris Ewan, Suzette Hill, Malcolm Pryce and Len Tyler. Chris is going to be so fed up of me by the end of the weekend.

On with the news - loads more to catch up on but this will have to do for now.

The Daily Record talks to Stuart MacBride about the real life inspiration for his new novel.

A ghostly photo signed by Arthur Conan Doyle is up for auction.

The Northeast Ledger on Denise Mina's STILL MIDNIGHT.

The Aberdeen Word Festival is underway. And here's the programme.

The Telegraph talks to Alexander McCall Smith about his inspirations. And here's an article on his charity work, and a report on the baboon opera.

Louise Welsh at the Stoke Newington Literary Festival.

The Swindon Advertiser attends an event with M C Beaton.

William McIlvanney wants a stiff chat with his character Laidlaw.

Turds and Treasures

First of all, I want to say a big, huge, ginormous apology to everyone I've sent ARCs of OLD DOGS to (they've all been sent out, by the way). I said that it was, as yet, unedited. Today, I got the edits back from the wonderful Peter Lavery (John Blake/MaXcrime). The man is an eagle-eyed genius - an artisan of the apostrophe, a craftsman of the comma, and a guru of grammar. He has taken his talented pencil to my manuscript and it is now strewn with obvious improvements. He has, shall we say, polished the turd until it shines. It may well still be a turd, but, lo, 'tis verily a very shiny one. So, I am very sorry to all those who received the unpolished, still-steaming, foul-smelling turd.

And now, the news.

A huge congratulations to Val McDermid who wins the Cartier Diamond Dagger, and pronounces herself gobsmacked.

Peter May sets up a private detective agency in the name of research.

Alexander McCall Smith talks about 44 Scotland Street on the iPlayer.

Minnesota Reads top 10 of 2009 - includes Allan Guthrie's SAVAGE NIGHT. The rest of his list looks excellent too. I shall be searching out the ones I haven't read.

CBC Radio talks to William McIlvanney.

The executors of Conan Doyle's estate threaten to withdraw permission for a sequel.

A blog about David Ashton's McLevy.

The Minneapolis Star Tribune reviews Charles Cummings' TYPHOON. And an interesting idea (but one which sadly won't load for me) THE 21 STEPS is a Charles Cumming story which unfolds as you follow it across a map of the world.

'More Asbos Than Yer Maw'

GUTTER - A new literary magazine for Scotland. Excellent news - I hope it does really well - I have just subscribed, so will let you know if there is any crime fiction content.

William McIlvanney at the Edinburgh Book Festival.

Aren't there a lot of literary festivals these days? Here's one at the University of East Anglia at the end of September, with Alexander McCall Smith along with some other illustrious names.

A very nice review of Ray Banks' SATURDAY'S CHILD by The Thriller Guy.

Jay Stringer with an excellent double review of Al Guthrie's SLAMMER and KILLING MUM.

Russel McLean reveals the cover of his forthcoming book - THE LOST SISTER. I love that cover. Not sure if that's the Forth Bridge, but if it is I'm supposed to be abseiling off that in October (Dad, don't tell Mum).

And I'm sure Russel didn't have anything to do with this, but his local police force's website was hacked and...well...covered in graffiti by the 'Paisley Young Team' who, apparently, have 'more asbos than yer maw'.

And finally, making a literary event out of a bookswap - what a great idea.

Sunday Scattershot

Kate Atkinson at the Edinburgh BookFestival. And, more from the Festival the lovely Bookwitch on Ian Rankin, Val McDermid and Denise Mina. And more on Ian Rankin and Neil Gaiman. And Ian Rankin in the dark. What am I going to do after the book festival has finished? I will be stuck for words.

And more Ian Rankin - this time on films. I love his answer to number 10.

Writer's block hits empty office. What a brilliant idea.

The Glasgow Herald on killing off favourite characters.

Dundee author Russel McLean will be talking with top selling true crime writer Alexander McGregor. Fact, fiction and everything in between will be being discussed at 7pm on 24 September at the Tower Building at the University of Dundee. Tickets can be bought from Waterstones, 35 Commercial Street, Dundee for £3. Call 01382 200322 for tickets. Here's an interview with Russel on his writing habits.

William MacIlvanney turns down an OBE.

And finally, my Dad wants you all to know that "I have just finished reading the second of my library books, just to show you that I do not limit my reading to books that contain dwarves and elves." I think the subtext there is that he feels I am maligning him and that if I do not stop he will tell my moter Bad Things about me. But maybe I'm just reading too much into it. Anyway, the book in question was SAIL by James Patterson. It sounds like a plot and a half from what he says, but he concludes that, although there were a lot of unexplained happenings, he still thought it was a good read. With no elves. Happy now, pater?

Lazy Sunday Afternoon Round-Up

William McIlvanney's son, Liam, publishes his debut novel ALL THE COLOURS OF THE TOWN - a thriller about sectarianism, set in Glasgow and Belfast. Looks interesting

The List asks Helen Fitzgerald Five Questions, and also reminds me that she and Karen Campbell are appearing at the Edinburgh Book Festival on 22nd August. Hmmmmm...I might actually make that event, assuming it's not sold out. And for those of a gentler disposition than me, The Mulgray Twins and Alanna Knight are appearing the next day. This article will tell you everything you need to know about the Mulgray Twins brand of crime fiction.

And, talking of the Edinburgh Book Festival, it seems that Scottish authors are a big draw. While the BBC reports that more than a third of the 700 events are sold out.

A new Scotland on Sunday anthology called HEADSHOOK, which challenged 24 Scottish writers to write stories on the theme of Scotland's future.

Edinburgh band St Jude's Infirmary release their second album This Has Been The Death Of Us on August 22nd, and it features vocals from Ian Rankin. I'm excited to hear the new one as I really loved their first album Happy Healthy Lucky Month. I usually like faster, punkier stuff, but they are an excellent band. Check this one out. Or this one, which is slightly more upbeat.

And, finally, the whole 'a family that reviews together, stays together' thing might be oot the windae - my Mum rang me earlier to tell me off for 'making' her read all of two pages of one of the books I sent her for review. Whoops.

Sleepy Sunday Summary

An excellent and hilarious interview with Allan Guthrie and Ray Banks in Pulp Pusher. And a top-notch review of Mr Guthrie's SLAMMER from The Drowning Man.

Fleshmarket Close gets an unattractive makeover - Edinburgh's streets are teeming with rubbish and the festival hasn't even started yet. Maybe Ian Rankin could use his new position as judge for the Sunday Times Scotland essay writing competition (which aims to promote political debate amongst young people and improve political accountability) could come up with some ideas to resolve the rubbish crisis. And when he's not dipping his toes into politics, he's being a rock star. And, talking of the marvellous Mr Rankin - a review of the short story collection CRIMESPOTTING, set in Edinburgh.

William McIlvanney makes Newsweek's 10 Favourite Crime novels. And he joins a campaign to save the Johnnie Walker whisky plant in Kilmarnock.

David Peace, who will be appearing at the Edinburgh Book Festival, talks to The Scotsman. And you can win tickets from The Big Issue to see David Peace, Irvine Welsh and others.

A great interview with Robert Downey Jr and Rachel McAdams on the forthcoming Sherlock Holmes film.

And finally, in true crime news, a new Tesco Express supermarket has opened up near me. This is great news as it means I can now get fresh fruit and veg from 6am until midnight. What do you mean "Come off it, tubby"? OK, OK, I can now get cake and chocolate from 6am until midnight. Happy now? Anyway, I was in there today buying...errrrr...cherries and blackberries (encased in chocolate cake) and enthusing over the fact that they were now in the neighbouhood. The checkout guy raised his eyebrows and said "Yeah, you and the junkies and the neds. They think it's Christmas. We're losing vast amounts of steak, cheese and washing powder." He nodded casually towards the door. "And there goes one now." I turned to see a ned running out of the door with a big box of Daz tucked into his shell suit top. From his awkward gait, I can only assume that his shell suit bottoms contained a couple of T-Bones and half a pound of brie.